graspTHEsanity

Pulse Home

When you fall asleep on the train you think of the streets rather than the train and the people and the faces and all the imagery outside leaking into your mind.

And then your sleep seems like lucid dreams of streets with girls in plastic heels walking around your head with cigarettes and american smiles.

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Paper Guns 2

And now I have no one to fucking tell me I should be more feminine, I mean I don’t go around pissing on walls whilst being drunk and then just waving at random passengers, something I had to do with a friend of mine and I just said nothing, drinking more from the alcohol bottle we’d snug out from a party.

I think I had told him I was a lesbian and he had asked me if I had fucked Jansen.

I asked him if I had to.

He just shrugged.

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Paper Guns 2

“Try not to tell her how we fucked, please.” Jansen starts messing with the pillows on the couch.

I ruffle my hair, newly dyed green over bleach. Seems to smile at me in the morning unless I’ve got a hangover and I want to puke even on the stripe bedcovers on obviously my bed.

“Why not? That other girl.” I inhale and end up blowing smoke near her ass, her face and the other side of her body is busy with the pillows. “Naomi enjoyed it, fucking left, man.”

And I laugh like a horse.

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Silencio 2

Since then I sit in my hotel room wondering which banging door could be him after all?

To light.

To hard.

Silence.

And my head is spinning from mere thought and I stay in the room with my legs crossed along with my arms, I think I hear guitar playing but I’m not sure if it would be a guitar or a can of yoghurt.

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Wild Charms

Smear me in silver, as I watch your fingertips slowly getting into the liquid, as I shiver expecting the cold as you trace the paint upon my lips and I swallow a bit.

You kiss me and you swallow the cold too.

I keep grinning for a bit and you just play with a hair also for a bit.

The silence seems to be awkward with no music around besides my sudden humming and the bright sparkles now from my sweater.

It’s our first halloween and your hands are trembling a bit too much.

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Last

I sit on the stairs, my head against the walls and I hear the strumming of the guitar going harder and sometimes I hear screams from below.

My hair is now short again.

Maybe because then I believed in something and when I had opened the door the thoughts of him kissing me flashed through my mind.

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The Killer Stripes

It’s about the tension.

It’s like a dance on the stage and once the connection is broken you just grab the girl by the arm even if we are not so young at least that’s what Kate brags about and throws some cream at me that I have to sit on the edge of the bed, staring at it.

I sit up and head to her closet and I do enjoy looking at how ripped her jeans may be or how swirly the heels might be and how her feet size wouldn’t fit mine if I don’t try. I just like sitting against her heels and waiting until she realizes that I am gone.

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Silencio

He looks like a whore.

He looks like a fucking whore and it’s funny, all of a sudden his tights seem

actually funny.

I look at the purple leopard tights and they do seem funny.

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Axe For Cork Extraction7

“You know. I-I wonder.” She gulps another patch of tears. “W-what if-” And she just breaks it, sticking the cigarette so deep in her own throat she gags. It’s a baby indeed and I can’t tell her anything about it.

“W-wouldn’t.” Her phrases are too broken and I wonder if she should just curse and jinx us all, our big soup of relations. I wonder if she could she’d grab the bowl of music and just fling it on the floor for plain woman happiness, I remember when I met Meg and I think after a few kisses she just said that after all, everyone’s life changes after children.

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Axe For Cork Extraction6

I wonder if I’ll be young enough again later as I shoot a bullet under my chin and I feel it in my tongue and I spit it out, I have no blood, only if I trace my fingers against the wound.

So Meg traces and sticks her finger in and I can suck that finger so I do.

She starts tearing the fabric of my skin with her fingers. And I just keep on kissing her, er fingers slightly in my blood and I keep my eyes closed. I shoot another bullet to the side of my head, as I sleep on my back sometimes or maybe so that I would sleep with my eyes open and the bullet is stuck there, nuzzling my brain.

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