graspTHEsanity

Silver

I thought I dreamt of something silver.

So I just rubbed a bit of the corner of my eye, thinking to just sit up, but i kept myself in bed, wrapping the covers firmly against my body, a numb ache coming from the stomach but I just tried to ignore it, the words staring to build in my head and I played with the thoughts of standing up and drinking milk.

2 notes | reblog

Two inhaling old ladies

I want to get married again to the dead.

The thoughts of suicide are too frequent and Kurt doesn’t visit, he isn’t supposed to with Francis out of touch from myself and even the magazines to spy on her like the rest of the world actually does.

The chain smoking and the loss of ashes just run itself out as if Kurt’s death was long gone now again

3 notes | reblog

Open Box

She fiddles with the white dress and it’s a bit too short and the scarf just falling around her shoulders to make it lest revealing gives her the feel that she might be young indeed, but then her hair would be short, but then she looks young, she looks like a child forced into life, just taken out of the insides with all the shells broken and all senses are given.

She eats a few raspberries and it’s early spring, but she wears that dress, even if it has a black outer layer, I still just see the white, maybe to see some irony with the awaiting wedding we all avoid and how she just wonders around the house, trying to get mascara right for the first time in years and I just watch the girl struggle, sometimes just looking up.

I feed her a raspberry, she opens her mouth to swallow.

2 notes | reblog

Talk to the night

“I only like the flowers near the roads, the narcissuses.” Stephanie, Lana’s girlfriend smiles and I do as well. I see my sister Lana start laughing slightly, her eyes closing and I see that one arrow on one eye is shorter, but I don’t say anything, from those time when I was dating women and I would get a snap in my direction.

7 notes | reblog

Swallow

My throat is a bit sore and he keeps smoking and he is in platforms, laughing at something he mentioned earlier but instead I sink it at the cross dresser, who seems to be my height, but feels too tiny.

19 notes | reblog

Moonage Daydream

I recall calling Meg and telling her about how weird it was and I kept flicking my lighter on an off, trying to light an imaginary roll of tobacco and nearly burning my lip.

She never liked Moonage Daydream that much really, she just thought she knew how to play it and she did. I recall how Meg told me the song and I had smiled and how we’d play it live and how I would feel her eyes being the audience behind me and the crowd would be a wall, I, still a shy kid would sing to.

15 notes | reblog

Light Upon The Dance Floor

“Alex?” Alison asks and her hair is now behind her, revealing the freaky blonde roots and I hold myself from poking them and I just smile, keeping the straw there, something I grabbed for an anecdote and she just smiled and I recall looking at her heels and wondering if I grabbed her and held her, would it be higher than her heels?

And then maybe the confetti would fall or some music would play as her arms would be around.

“Alex?”

9 notes | reblog

Silver

8 notes | reblog

Pulse Home

When you fall asleep on the train you think of the streets rather than the train and the people and the faces and all the imagery outside leaking into your mind.

And then your sleep seems like lucid dreams of streets with girls in plastic heels walking around your head with cigarettes and american smiles.

10 notes | reblog

Light Up The Dance Floor

You know when that girl is just too good for you?

The way she hurls herself on stage and clothes seem like nothing, not just because it’s all too tight but because the sweat on her is still even dropping into her drink and she laughs.

I stare at her and I wonder how would it feel when she was younger, when I was younger and how would it feel if I’d snuck out and maybe it would be a small venue, maybe the New Year’s lights would be around with a few pumpkins lying under all the feat and girls would be in fishnets, listening and I would stand there.

72 notes | reblog