Jul
23
2014

- 2
My hand is still numb in the places he’s touched me and my mind plays tricks on me, saying he’s here when he’s not and I keep lighting cigarettes as they keep going out by themselves as the hours seem to be pushing me towards 1 a.m. again as I actually bother doing pancakes and I feel seeing him as if I should leave a plate for him and not touch it, as it is for the dead.

As I sit I just pull the curtains open and I stare and as I look down to cut the pancakes, I see from the corner of my eye a gray fox jumping in and as soon as I look up it’s gone, but I feel watched, as if he’s standing against the window sill and as I look down the curtains move and that’s when I close them, stuffing my face with pancakes before fear takes my hunger away. 

I feel a brush against my neck and I really wish I had alcohol. 
READ MORE JAMIE HINCE FANFICTION HERE

- 2

My hand is still numb in the places he’s touched me and my mind plays tricks on me, saying he’s here when he’s not and I keep lighting cigarettes as they keep going out by themselves as the hours seem to be pushing me towards 1 a.m. again as I actually bother doing pancakes and I feel seeing him as if I should leave a plate for him and not touch it, as it is for the dead.


As I sit I just pull the curtains open and I stare and as I look down to cut the pancakes, I see from the corner of my eye a gray fox jumping in and as soon as I look up it’s gone, but I feel watched, as if he’s standing against the window sill and as I look down the curtains move and that’s when I close them, stuffing my face with pancakes before fear takes my hunger away. 


I feel a brush against my neck and I really wish I had alcohol. 

READ MORE JAMIE HINCE FANFICTION HERE

Jul
21
2014

CLOSE 4
London seems distant, its colours washed away, everyone looking the same and the gloom seemed to be injected not just onto the people, but onto the streets as well, but I seem to have some cheer within me, just because I’m with Jamie, trailing behind, just to watch him, letting my imagination wander. 

But I know that I stumble from the lack of his attention, his interest in me nearly gone and blown from his own fingertips, the powder dissolving as if in water, it so does in air. 

He seems to be counting the days silently, as we seem to be some crooked reflection, some odd balance where all the love we’ve held is tipped over to me, as his depression seems to be taking its toll. There are days when he is always in the mask, pulling me closer, letting himself pretend and there are days when we just sit outside, Jamie looking above at the sun, as if it can no longer blind the dead. 

My body seems to rejoice from being with him and slowly I try to ask him, as squirrels seem to jump and replace the eagerness of life in all of us. 
READ MORE THE KILLS FANFICTION HERE

CLOSE 4

London seems distant, its colours washed away, everyone looking the same and the gloom seemed to be injected not just onto the people, but onto the streets as well, but I seem to have some cheer within me, just because I’m with Jamie, trailing behind, just to watch him, letting my imagination wander. 


But I know that I stumble from the lack of his attention, his interest in me nearly gone and blown from his own fingertips, the powder dissolving as if in water, it so does in air. 


He seems to be counting the days silently, as we seem to be some crooked reflection, some odd balance where all the love we’ve held is tipped over to me, as his depression seems to be taking its toll. There are days when he is always in the mask, pulling me closer, letting himself pretend and there are days when we just sit outside, Jamie looking above at the sun, as if it can no longer blind the dead. 


My body seems to rejoice from being with him and slowly I try to ask him, as squirrels seem to jump and replace the eagerness of life in all of us. 

READ MORE THE KILLS FANFICTION HERE

Jul
16
2014

TO MILES 32
“Turner, I need you as evidence.” I remain in the bed. Jamie rolls his eyes. “Turner, NOW.”

And he bangs the door, as Carlos and Julian I guess exchange silent glances as Miles just watches me. I dress up fast, my fingers shaking. Julian stands up and helps me button my uniform and I feel myself shaking. 

It’s the orlop, isn’t it?

Was Alex in it?

I heard they’re sending off twenty men?

How many were there?

Did Alex see it?

Jamie opens the door again and I feel that I could faint, but instead I follow him, as Miles stops Julian from following me and I glance one last time into Miles’ dark eyes, which had captivated me long ago. I stumble on my steps and as soon as we enter the room Jamie presses me against the wall, hungrily kissing me and stops once he realizes how frozen I am and I nearly slide down, as he stops and whatever he asks me feels as if I am underground

under water

I hear my own scream,

before I collapse onto the floor, feeling the thud,
 
READ MORE JAMIE HINCE FANFICTION HERE

TO MILES 32

“Turner, I need you as evidence.” I remain in the bed. Jamie rolls his eyes. “Turner, NOW.”

And he bangs the door, as Carlos and Julian I guess exchange silent glances as Miles just watches me. I dress up fast, my fingers shaking. Julian stands up and helps me button my uniform and I feel myself shaking. 

It’s the orlop, isn’t it?

Was Alex in it?

I heard they’re sending off twenty men?

How many were there?

Did Alex see it?

Jamie opens the door again and I feel that I could faint, but instead I follow him, as Miles stops Julian from following me and I glance one last time into Miles’ dark eyes, which had captivated me long ago. I stumble on my steps and as soon as we enter the room Jamie presses me against the wall, hungrily kissing me and stops once he realizes how frozen I am and I nearly slide down, as he stops and whatever he asks me feels as if I am underground

under water

I hear my own scream,

before I collapse onto the floor, feeling the thud,
 

Jul
13
2014

START FINDING PASSION 2
We showered together, which raised no eyebrows, Jamie’s head against the wall, as I was drying my hair and I kept looking at his back, how he slowly started tanning towards the end and how we both seemed to be getting bored with the outcome of his parents nagging at his lack of a girlfriend, inviting me over for Jaime to have a friend here, that we could share an apartment, but that even after the assault they were offended, that Jamie was still moving to Sweden, they tried their broken English, saying how Brazil is better and their fluent native portuguese, as Jamie would just palen, Julian roll his eyes and tell them to go fuck themselves, Jack polietly watching all of this, hands under the table, closing his eyes from while to while, fighting sleep as he’d dedicate all his awake state to Jamie.
We were alone in the room as Julian and Jamie headed outside to buy some beer and I wondered would I have the guts to ask, our conversations usually being very shallow about how much either of us loved Jamie. 
READ MORE JAMIE HINCE FANFICTION HERE

START FINDING PASSION 2

We showered together, which raised no eyebrows, Jamie’s head against the wall, as I was drying my hair and I kept looking at his back, how he slowly started tanning towards the end and how we both seemed to be getting bored with the outcome of his parents nagging at his lack of a girlfriend, inviting me over for Jaime to have a friend here, that we could share an apartment, but that even after the assault they were offended, that Jamie was still moving to Sweden, they tried their broken English, saying how Brazil is better and their fluent native portuguese, as Jamie would just palen, Julian roll his eyes and tell them to go fuck themselves, Jack polietly watching all of this, hands under the table, closing his eyes from while to while, fighting sleep as he’d dedicate all his awake state to Jamie.
We were alone in the room as Julian and Jamie headed outside to buy some beer and I wondered would I have the guts to ask, our conversations usually being very shallow about how much either of us loved Jamie. 

Jul
11
2014

I wish I had this mood right now: Jamie Hince finding out there’s a wine tasting tent.

I wish you all to have this mood today.

Jul
9
2014

Untitled 5Silence Seems To Feed Us 11

I feel tired and I can see how melancholic people get and once you listen to them you actually wonder if life is really that boring. It’s like people trying to get drunk at fourteen, knowing which bars in Camden let underage people drink. 

READ MORE JAMIE HINCE/ALISON MOSSHART FANFICTION: http://graspthesanity.blogspot.pt/2013/05/untitled-5silence-seems-to-feed-us10.html

Untitled 5Silence Seems To Feed Us 11

I feel tired and I can see how melancholic people get and once you listen to them you actually wonder if life is really that boring. It’s like people trying to get drunk at fourteen, knowing which bars in Camden let underage people drink.

READ MORE JAMIE HINCE/ALISON MOSSHART FANFICTION: http://graspthesanity.blogspot.pt/2013/05/untitled-5silence-seems-to-feed-us10.html

Jul
9
2014

FIJI5
I love you so much that sometimes I don’t know how to express it. We don’t stop kissing and I can’t help but put my hand lower and I start stroking Jamie as he starts rubbing my clit, sometimes I think we are insane. We both come and Jamie keeps biting my neck as he comes and I keep gasping, pressing his hand harder with my own. “We can get a morning after pill. True, twenty five quid, but fuck, we need to buy condoms anyway.” And Jamie laughs and I just sit besides him, stroking his chest with my fingers as he nuzzles my hair. Nothing comes to mind, just sitting on his lap and then I have an urge to draw and I ask Jamie if he has pencils and paper. 
READ MORE THE KILLS FANFICTION HERE

FIJI5

I love you so much that sometimes I don’t know how to express it. 

We don’t stop kissing and I can’t help but put my hand lower and I start stroking Jamie as he starts rubbing my clit, sometimes I think we are insane. 

We both come and Jamie keeps biting my neck as he comes and I keep gasping, pressing his hand harder with my own. 

“We can get a morning after pill. True, twenty five quid, but fuck, we need to buy condoms anyway.” And Jamie laughs and I just sit besides him, stroking his chest with my fingers as he nuzzles my hair. Nothing comes to mind, just sitting on his lap and then I have an urge to draw and I ask Jamie if he has pencils and paper. 

READ MORE THE KILLS FANFICTION HERE

Jul
7
2014

CLOSE 5
Jamie doesn’t tell me his masterplan, saying that it’s better for it to stay in his head, to make sure it’s not insane, so that the idea would sprout and he said it motioning with his hands, that he would be convinced that it’s good enough-

At the time being we enter a diner, intending not to pay and I can’t help but chew slowly and the food barely going within me as if the first time all over again, when he had invited me out and I had dreamt of him, wondering how would his lips feel, how he would pin me down, my breath stopping, all of its speed shifting to the heart as he would trace his fingers down my lips and neck, something being ridiculously gracious about him, as if all was planned under the cape, eyes only left to reveal the magician’s tricks. I was nervous even with him and he seemed colder than I had thought and he had told me briefly of Kate, as I had recalled him in the papers and then the hand cast seemed to make sense all of a sudden. 
READ MORE JAMIE HINCE FANFICTION HERE

CLOSE 5

Jamie doesn’t tell me his masterplan, saying that it’s better for it to stay in his head, to make sure it’s not insane, so that the idea would sprout and he said it motioning with his hands, that he would be convinced that it’s good enough-


At the time being we enter a diner, intending not to pay and I can’t help but chew slowly and the food barely going within me as if the first time all over again, when he had invited me out and I had dreamt of him, wondering how would his lips feel, how he would pin me down, my breath stopping, all of its speed shifting to the heart as he would trace his fingers down my lips and neck, something being ridiculously gracious about him, as if all was planned under the cape, eyes only left to reveal the magician’s tricks. I was nervous even with him and he seemed colder than I had thought and he had told me briefly of Kate, as I had recalled him in the papers and then the hand cast seemed to make sense all of a sudden. 

READ MORE JAMIE HINCE FANFICTION HERE

Jul
7
2014

THREESOME11
I kept thinking about Kate but I couldn’t bring myself to call and it’s nagging and I’ve been terrified to do so. It’s as if I am in exam season again and I couldn’t force myself to pick up the books, thinking that all is lost and I start seeing gay couples all over, especially women holding their hands and I even walked into a gay bar, having a woman hit on me but I said I am waiting for a friend, looking at the empty dancefloor, wondering far too much. It feels odd. I remember I had a crush on a girl in school and she was awfully girly. But back then it was different, there was nothing about sexuality, it was about mere attraction and it was among the exams.

It was the first time I had touched myself to a woman and it was like a fire unleashed, my whole body was whining with guilt and when I came it was like the first time, like I haven’t ever breathed air and now I was getting a gulp and it was hot.

Just like Kate is.
READ MORE THE KILLS FANFICTION HERE

THREESOME11

I kept thinking about Kate but I couldn’t bring myself to call and it’s nagging and I’ve been terrified to do so. It’s as if I am in exam season again and I couldn’t force myself to pick up the books, thinking that all is lost and I start seeing gay couples all over, especially women holding their hands and I even walked into a gay bar, having a woman hit on me but I said I am waiting for a friend, looking at the empty dancefloor, wondering far too much. It feels odd. I remember I had a crush on a girl in school and she was awfully girly. But back then it was different, there was nothing about sexuality, it was about mere attraction and it was among the exams.


It was the first time I had touched myself to a woman and it was like a fire unleashed, my whole body was whining with guilt and when I came it was like the first time, like I haven’t ever breathed air and now I was getting a gulp and it was hot.


Just like Kate is.

READ MORE THE KILLS FANFICTION HERE

Jul
5
2014

BROKEN BLACK VARNISH REQUIEM 6
I don’t recall Jamie even knowing how to make cocktails, but he did and we’re sitting eating his usual grilled cheese, which I’m guessing is the only thing he survives on whenever he’s single if he doesn’t bum to me and Alex. 

“Hey, Alison.” Both me and Jamie move our heads to see that Jack is waving, sunglasses on and in some shirt, smiling and Jamie puts his sandwich back on the plate. I softly nudge him to hold his fucking dick in his pants. “Sorry, can I borrow some salt coz I have this thing on tonight and I was pretty much getting the meat ready and yeah.”

He scratches his head and I can’t help but look at his curls. Alex chopped of all his hair quite a while ago, stylizing into a lazy quiff these days if he can ever be bothered. I wonder if Jamie himself is staring at the tall man or if it’s just me getting caught red handed. I nod, asking for a minute, as I just hear Jamie.

“What thing? Can I join?” And I hear Jack laugh in reply and I’m guessing Jamie made his way in, as I walk in to get a text from Alex that he’d have some meeting and he’ll have to stay later. I blush at the sudden coincidence, now that I see Jamie walking up to Jack from the kitchen window. I get the salt and I hope Jamie doesn’t get too close and I imagine them kissing and the thought of Jack’s lips, makes me lose control and I spill the salt slightly. 
READ THE KILLS FANFICTION HERE

BROKEN BLACK VARNISH REQUIEM 6

I don’t recall Jamie even knowing how to make cocktails, but he did and we’re sitting eating his usual grilled cheese, which I’m guessing is the only thing he survives on whenever he’s single if he doesn’t bum to me and Alex. 


“Hey, Alison.” Both me and Jamie move our heads to see that Jack is waving, sunglasses on and in some shirt, smiling and Jamie puts his sandwich back on the plate. I softly nudge him to hold his fucking dick in his pants. “Sorry, can I borrow some salt coz I have this thing on tonight and I was pretty much getting the meat ready and yeah.”


He scratches his head and I can’t help but look at his curls. Alex chopped of all his hair quite a while ago, stylizing into a lazy quiff these days if he can ever be bothered. I wonder if Jamie himself is staring at the tall man or if it’s just me getting caught red handed. I nod, asking for a minute, as I just hear Jamie.


“What thing? Can I join?” And I hear Jack laugh in reply and I’m guessing Jamie made his way in, as I walk in to get a text from Alex that he’d have some meeting and he’ll have to stay later. I blush at the sudden coincidence, now that I see Jamie walking up to Jack from the kitchen window. I get the salt and I hope Jamie doesn’t get too close and I imagine them kissing and the thought of Jack’s lips, makes me lose control and I spill the salt slightly. 

READ THE KILLS FANFICTION HERE

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