graspTHEsanity

Broken Black Varnish Requiem 2

“Hi, neighbors.” And he salutes for whatever reason and he and Alex blow out smoke at the same time, I quickly glance at Alex and his fringe which is dropped low onto his glasses due to the towel and I back off and soon enough a red haired little girl chips up, most likely the man is holding her.

“Hi!” and then Alex waves and stands up, holding the cigarette in his teeth, failing to exhale properly so on his way here he drops the cigarette and I kiss him briefly, taking off his glasses and putting them on myself.

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Untitled 5Silence Seems To Feed Us 11

I feel tired and I can see how melancholic people get and once you listen to them you actually wonder if life is really that boring. It’s like people trying to get drunk at fourteen, knowing which bars in Camden let underage people drink.

When I was a kid I’d get traumatized when people would call me ugly or last time my mother was over she called me impossible and wondered how I am alive in my mess of a room and that troubled me, just as if I was back in high school with someone trying to pick a fight, in university it was easier as everyone was just as queer with Brian Molko walking around in heels.

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Special K

If you give a handful of jelly bellies to a newborn, it will choke and die.

I quickly take off the coat, after the colour blue changes from pink and I exit the hospital, not wanting another child from Karen and making sure no coat was seen anywhere and that’s the benefit of a small clinic.

I had always wondered how would human flesh taste like so I even bit the child’s limb, feeling blood circulating in my mouth until enough saliva mixed with it.

And I swallow the piece off the bone, it felt salty mostly due to the blood and metallic.

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I Can’t Wait

I chew harder on the candy so that it breaks into two shallow seeming to me pieces and they try to get my tongue and slice it so that my blood would become candy itself.

The tie is loosen on the way to school easily, a few more treats in the pocket taken from home as all seemed too scattered in the bowl from a recent birthday and three seemed enough.

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Broken Black Varnish Requiem

He puts his hand on the back of my head and as soon as my teeth fail to open the bottle his lips meet mine and we stop briefly.

The bottle falls on the carpet and makes a noise and I just grab Alex further onto me.

“Hey.” He kisses my forehead again and we both sit up.

Alex ends up turning off the lights and I don’t say anything and I sit against the wall and he crawls over to me.

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Definition of a Paper Guns

1. Falling and love and being in love is like a flash when your eyes are not blinded anymore, it feels like you are passing a bottle of tequila and you have the faint feeling of a celebration which you have no idea of, because you only love once and you love once and one and once

So I keep passing the tequila bottle between me and Nicky, both of us grinning, Nicky’s paper crown falling off him, the bright now red hair trickles with the fire he has in his mouth, the cigarette faintly falling off onto the pavement as he drops it and it fades, as he finnishes his smoke but my mind replays the cigarette he holds and we both stand up with all wrapped in sleep as if it were snow and if it were to snow it would snow with all the flakes falling all over and making a temple for the cigarette

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Fiji4

I kept taking the hoodie out, seeing a hole in a sleeve, knowing that nearly all of Jamie’s wardrobe was the same and I’d inhale his smell, wondering how his parents looked like and what would he say. I walked and talked to my parents as well, Matthew being more silent, his hair still looking bad as he was desperately trying to grow it after turning an age where mom could no longer cut it as he would wail too much.

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Open Box

She eats a few raspberries and it’s early spring, but she wears that dress, even if it has a black outer layer, I still just see the white, maybe to see some irony with the awaiting wedding we all avoid and how she just wonders around the house, trying to get mascara right for the first time in years and I just watch the girl struggle, sometimes just looking up.

I feed her a raspberry, she opens her mouth to swallow.

“What do you want to do today?” I ask her, washing my hands off the raspberry with her tongue on my finger, I lure it out and her eyes just hold my gaze stronger.

“Nothing.” And her nothing hangs in the air as she washes more raspberries and the whole weight of groceries lately is just raspberries, maybe because it’s the only fruit she doesn’t see at the Hince’s.

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Ian’s Ghost

I don’t really end up believing in ghosts, even when I am drunk.

But I still see him a few times, just as miserable, something in the body already, he doesn’t do anything, you can feel some notes of vinyls coming out and he fades out as soon as the table is taken.

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Talk to the night

“I only like the flowers near the roads, the narcissuses.” Stephanie, Lana’s girlfriend smiles and I do as well. I see my sister Lana start laughing slightly, her eyes closing and I see that one arrow on one eye is shorter, but I don’t say anything, from those time when I was dating women and I would get a snap in my direction.

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