Sep
29
2014

Stale Smoke In A Running Circle

I light him a cigarette and give it to him. He inhales, maybe coughs a little and hides it.

“Are you from London? Not the prettiest place to be, you live here or visiting? The pub on the high street is shit.” He says now smoking or faking it real. 

I just don’t do anything instead I wonder if he will continue bragging but he doesn’t.

“Are you even old enough to go in there?” I ask, chewing on my cigarette before taking a long drag, wondering what the fuck would Jamie be doing, awake or not.

READ MORE MOSSHART/TURNER FANFICTION: http://graspthesanity.blogspot.se/2012/04/stale-smoke-in-running-circle.html

Stale Smoke In A Running Circle

I light him a cigarette and give it to him. He inhales, maybe coughs a little and hides it.

“Are you from London? Not the prettiest place to be, you live here or visiting? The pub on the high street is shit.” He says now smoking or faking it real.

I just don’t do anything instead I wonder if he will continue bragging but he doesn’t.

“Are you even old enough to go in there?” I ask, chewing on my cigarette before taking a long drag, wondering what the fuck would Jamie be doing, awake or not.

READ MORE MOSSHART/TURNER FANFICTION: http://graspthesanity.blogspot.se/2012/04/stale-smoke-in-running-circle.html

Sep
29
2014

Disaster 3
“Can we please…” She tries to catch her breath, stroking my hair as I’m on top of her as I remove her bra to be fully naked. “Fuck again. I promise I won’t tell anyone. I just want to work it out between me and Matthew. I can’t make him think…”

She breaths out, I put my head on her shoulder. 

“That I’m easy. While you’ll never think I’m easy. It’s until we can both fuck.” I kiss her shoulder, closing my eyes, muting the screams from the orgasms. “We can even fuck someone else…”

She clicks her fingers.
 
READ MORE LANA DEL REY/MARINA DIAMANDIS FANFICTION AT GRASPTHESANITY

Disaster 3

“Can we please…” She tries to catch her breath, stroking my hair as I’m on top of her as I remove her bra to be fully naked. “Fuck again. I promise I won’t tell anyone. I just want to work it out between me and Matthew. I can’t make him think…”


She breaths out, I put my head on her shoulder. 


“That I’m easy. While you’ll never think I’m easy. It’s until we can both fuck.” I kiss her shoulder, closing my eyes, muting the screams from the orgasms. “We can even fuck someone else…”


She clicks her fingers.

 

READ MORE LANA DEL REY/MARINA DIAMANDIS FANFICTION AT GRASPTHESANITY

Sep
29
2014

-

I open the window to still hear the noise, this time louder as if it knows me approaching and the children get louder and a ice cream van is heard. It’s one a.m. again, with me tumbling lightly from the walking I’ve done before and how it seemed fitting to just pack my bags and sometimes trips begin to take you in, doors unlocked,

it’s like sand rattling and the children should be asleep, roosters already reminding me that I’ve left everything for Lisbon, just because break ups get the best of you, SIM card taken out and e-mail once a day becoming the sole food for the thought of home. 

It’s not even that I can smoke in the apartment, as the roosters get louder, as if daylight would come soon and it’s been a while since it had left. 

READ MORE GRIMMY STORIES HERE: http://graspthesanity.blogspot.se/2014/07/blog-post.html

-

I open the window to still hear the noise, this time louder as if it knows me approaching and the children get louder and a ice cream van is heard. It’s one a.m. again, with me tumbling lightly from the walking I’ve done before and how it seemed fitting to just pack my bags and sometimes trips begin to take you in, doors unlocked,

it’s like sand rattling and the children should be asleep, roosters already reminding me that I’ve left everything for Lisbon, just because break ups get the best of you, SIM card taken out and e-mail once a day becoming the sole food for the thought of home.

It’s not even that I can smoke in the apartment, as the roosters get louder, as if daylight would come soon and it’s been a while since it had left.

READ MORE GRIMMY STORIES HERE:

http://graspthesanity.blogspot.se/2014/07/blog-post.html

Sep
29
2014

let’s make straight offensive since they’re such bigots 5
He’s much taller than me and surely than Jamie and he fidgets and he smiles at me lightly, as I walk towards our lockers and he holds a flower. Do they even do that? And I recall how me and Jamie were handed a rose each by some random passerby once, on Valentine’s day as well and we swore that we’d be each other’s valentine always, well, now we won’t. He’s rather striking as well. Well-built and seems to be something like some eye candy Jamie would jerk off to. I’ve been paired up with him in chemistry once and he had randomly asked me what I listened to years ago and said he was going to buy vinyl and I just smiled it off.

Apparently he switched teams. 

“Um, where’s Jamie?” I shrug and I wonder myself, as we both didn’t phone each other to meet up and soon enough, we see the talk himself run up and he’s in a suit, a smaller scarf tied around and he stops near the locker, eyes scanning the bloke and me. He smiles wider as he looks at him and tries to stash the guilt in his eyes from me. 
READ MORE ALISON MOSSHART FANFICTION HERE

let’s make straight offensive since they’re such bigots 5

He’s much taller than me and surely than Jamie and he fidgets and he smiles at me lightly, as I walk towards our lockers and he holds a flower. Do they even do that? And I recall how me and Jamie were handed a rose each by some random passerby once, on Valentine’s day as well and we swore that we’d be each other’s valentine always, well, now we won’t. He’s rather striking as well. Well-built and seems to be something like some eye candy Jamie would jerk off to. I’ve been paired up with him in chemistry once and he had randomly asked me what I listened to years ago and said he was going to buy vinyl and I just smiled it off.


Apparently he switched teams. 


“Um, where’s Jamie?” I shrug and I wonder myself, as we both didn’t phone each other to meet up and soon enough, we see the talk himself run up and he’s in a suit, a smaller scarf tied around and he stops near the locker, eyes scanning the bloke and me. He smiles wider as he looks at him and tries to stash the guilt in his eyes from me. 

READ MORE ALISON MOSSHART FANFICTION HERE

Sep
29
2014

APATHY AFTERTASTE
I honestly think that life is pushing me to the tip of suicide. 

I look behind, to see him give me a soft wave and nod to look back at the teacher and I sigh, trying not to fiddle even more with the notebooks, my mind humming far too loudly and the clock which has no sound, is far too loud in my head, muting everything and I just keep replaying nightmares in my head which had been last night, spitting out blood in the sink and noticing how all my temples had gone gray. 

“It shouldn’t be hard.” Jack told me as he arrived at four a.m. parents no longer caring and all under a healthy doze of Xanax, waiting for me to pack my bags, but Jack insisted that this should still be the place where the ritual of getting rid of the past should be and he proceeded to dye my hair until there was pounding on the door and we emerged, just for mom and dad to think we fucked. 

Jack waved at them and they prayed that Meg was indeed his girlfriend, as I would smoke outside, Jack scratching the back of his head, thinking-

“I can’t take you in.”
READ MORE JACK WHITE FANFICTION HERE

APATHY AFTERTASTE

I honestly think that life is pushing me to the tip of suicide. 


I look behind, to see him give me a soft wave and nod to look back at the teacher and I sigh, trying not to fiddle even more with the notebooks, my mind humming far too loudly and the clock which has no sound, is far too loud in my head, muting everything and I just keep replaying nightmares in my head which had been last night, spitting out blood in the sink and noticing how all my temples had gone gray. 


“It shouldn’t be hard.” Jack told me as he arrived at four a.m. parents no longer caring and all under a healthy doze of Xanax, waiting for me to pack my bags, but Jack insisted that this should still be the place where the ritual of getting rid of the past should be and he proceeded to dye my hair until there was pounding on the door and we emerged, just for mom and dad to think we fucked. 


Jack waved at them and they prayed that Meg was indeed his girlfriend, as I would smoke outside, Jack scratching the back of his head, thinking-


“I can’t take you in.”

READ MORE JACK WHITE FANFICTION HERE

Sep
29
2014

GANDALF’S INHALER 16
I just recalled my anger throughout the whole thing as I stopped visiting Alex, as he would slowly start joining me while I’d smoke in the night, his own words muted out, as I couldn’t seem to be in the room with anyone, wondering what the fuck would even happen to my life as the only reason I wasn’t getting anywhere was on the sole fact that I was gay.

I had wondered about cutting myself and suicide, but there is that point in life when those things stop mattering, you can’t inflict more pain upon yourself than life. 

I had still gone to Alex, wondering how long would it take for Ezra to show up with his ugly Babar jacket and I had started styling my hair, wondering if I should cut it off, if I should stop bothering with my entire existence and I wondered how long would it last for my empathy to collapse and go Florence Rey style on the streets. 

On the end of the lesson, I still took my time packing and Alex dropped a few books on my desk. 

“I want a lab report.” The thud still echoes around me, as I look at all the lab reporting books and I can’t even focus.

“Excuse me?” I blink. “I handed mine in…”

We’re alone.
READ MORE ALEX TURNER FANFICTION HERE

GANDALF’S INHALER 16

I just recalled my anger throughout the whole thing as I stopped visiting Alex, as he would slowly start joining me while I’d smoke in the night, his own words muted out, as I couldn’t seem to be in the room with anyone, wondering what the fuck would even happen to my life as the only reason I wasn’t getting anywhere was on the sole fact that I was gay.


I had wondered about cutting myself and suicide, but there is that point in life when those things stop mattering, you can’t inflict more pain upon yourself than life. 


I had still gone to Alex, wondering how long would it take for Ezra to show up with his ugly Babar jacket and I had started styling my hair, wondering if I should cut it off, if I should stop bothering with my entire existence and I wondered how long would it last for my empathy to collapse and go Florence Rey style on the streets. 


On the end of the lesson, I still took my time packing and Alex dropped a few books on my desk. 


“I want a lab report.” The thud still echoes around me, as I look at all the lab reporting books and I can’t even focus.


“Excuse me?” I blink. “I handed mine in…”


We’re alone.

READ MORE ALEX TURNER FANFICTION HERE

Sep
29
2014

FELLATIO
The lines start to blur and when they do, that’s when the mind starts messing things up for me. When I feel like I’m falling and that I will only see Miles from a distance and sometimes I look far too much especially when he can’t hold his alcohol anymore and he just looks at anything far too long and could suddenly crack a joke before actually laughing, waiting for my reaction and he gets off laughing from me and I do so from him. 

And sex jokes and light hints seem to be the pleasure I ever seem to be getting and somehow I wish every touch Miles does on stage would be intertwined with desire and I keep watching him as he talks and I don’t even register wishing that I could feel his fingers traveling through my hair, down on my neck.

“Al?” Lower, tugging the hem of my shirt down before he goes back to being over the fabric until he pulls it off. I can see him tracing now his fingers on my chest, grinning lifting his hand up to cup my cheek, his grin now wider before he closes his eyes, letting himself immerse within me as he’d kiss me. 
READ MORE MILEX FANFICTION HERE

FELLATIO

The lines start to blur and when they do, that’s when the mind starts messing things up for me. When I feel like I’m falling and that I will only see Miles from a distance and sometimes I look far too much especially when he can’t hold his alcohol anymore and he just looks at anything far too long and could suddenly crack a joke before actually laughing, waiting for my reaction and he gets off laughing from me and I do so from him. 


And sex jokes and light hints seem to be the pleasure I ever seem to be getting and somehow I wish every touch Miles does on stage would be intertwined with desire and I keep watching him as he talks and I don’t even register wishing that I could feel his fingers traveling through my hair, down on my neck.


“Al?” Lower, tugging the hem of my shirt down before he goes back to being over the fabric until he pulls it off. I can see him tracing now his fingers on my chest, grinning lifting his hand up to cup my cheek, his grin now wider before he closes his eyes, letting himself immerse within me as he’d kiss me. 

READ MORE MILEX FANFICTION HERE

Sep
29
2014

STALE SMOKE IN A RUNNING CIRCLE 10
The question is more than plain?

Where do I begin?

Where do I start? Where does the dysphoria start and where does my desire to be with Jamie end? 

It’s not even about myself, it’s a mixture of indeed myself and where do I fit in with Jamie.  It’s about the anxiety of oneself and the other, since by the end of the day when you want to be in a relationship-

it’s both and it’s where two sexualities collide and not even being sure of myself, makes me anxious as I look at him as he comes back, quickly shooting a glance at Alex, who I seem to be avoiding and this seems to be a morning of confessions and I look around at all the cis men, not feeling any different, I still hold the same feelings, the ease and the attraction is all there.
READ THE LAST CHAPTER HERE

STALE SMOKE IN A RUNNING CIRCLE 10

The question is more than plain?


Where do I begin?


Where do I start? Where does the dysphoria start and where does my desire to be with Jamie end? 


It’s not even about myself, it’s a mixture of indeed myself and where do I fit in with Jamie.  It’s about the anxiety of oneself and the other, since by the end of the day when you want to be in a relationship-


it’s both and it’s where two sexualities collide and not even being sure of myself, makes me anxious as I look at him as he comes back, quickly shooting a glance at Alex, who I seem to be avoiding and this seems to be a morning of confessions and I look around at all the cis men, not feeling any different, I still hold the same feelings, the ease and the attraction is all there.

READ THE LAST CHAPTER HERE

Sep
28
2014

To Miles 35

War is like rowing in a lake of the dead at night only you don’t know who the dead on your boat you are taking off are.

Alison is about to give birth and Hince is about to take shore leave, and he had announced it to me at New Year’s over the end of the wine bottle, fidelity still on the table, as if the dice could change the course of the game, because all is rigged to the red.

And January greets us for far too much rain up to the point that the canteen in the morning before the caffeine properly starts working looks as if everyone seems to have seasonal depression and it takes me a while to adjust my schedule back, but I still do my duties but it doesn’t help with the ship shaking all the time and Hince keeping a straight face, reading in the canteen and never raising his eyes at anyone, even when I feel like the room gains silence and Jamie just slightly raises his eyes at Miles. 

READ MORE: http://graspthesanity.blogspot.pt/2014/09/to-miles-35.html

To Miles 35

War is like rowing in a lake of the dead at night only you don’t know who the dead on your boat you are taking off are.

Alison is about to give birth and Hince is about to take shore leave, and he had announced it to me at New Year’s over the end of the wine bottle, fidelity still on the table, as if the dice could change the course of the game, because all is rigged to the red.

And January greets us for far too much rain up to the point that the canteen in the morning before the caffeine properly starts working looks as if everyone seems to have seasonal depression and it takes me a while to adjust my schedule back, but I still do my duties but it doesn’t help with the ship shaking all the time and Hince keeping a straight face, reading in the canteen and never raising his eyes at anyone, even when I feel like the room gains silence and Jamie just slightly raises his eyes at Miles.

READ MORE: http://graspthesanity.blogspot.pt/2014/09/to-miles-35.html

Sep
28
2014

let’s make straight offensive since they’re such bigots 5
He’s much taller than me and surely than Jamie and he fidgets and he smiles at me lightly, as I walk towards our lockers and he holds a flower. Do they even do that? And I recall how me and Jamie were handed a rose each by some random passerby once, on Valentine’s day as well and we swore that we’d be each other’s valentine always, well, now we won’t. He’s rather striking as well. Well-built and seems to be something like some eye candy Jamie would jerk off to. I’ve been paired up with him in chemistry once and he had randomly asked me what I listened to years ago and said he was going to buy vinyl and I just smiled it off.

Apparently he switched teams. 

“Um, where’s Jamie?” I shrug and I wonder myself, as we both didn’t phone each other to meet up and soon enough, we see the talk himself run up and he’s in a suit, a smaller scarf tied around and he stops near the locker, eyes scanning the bloke and me. He smiles wider as he looks at him and tries to stash the guilt in his eyes from me. 

The taller bloke scratches his head and grins, watching Jamie catch his breath and I just watch them unravel in some unrealistic expectation, like a soap opera. 
READ MORE ALISON MOSSHART/JAMIE HINCE FANFICTION AT GRASPTHESANITY

let’s make straight offensive since they’re such bigots 5

He’s much taller than me and surely than Jamie and he fidgets and he smiles at me lightly, as I walk towards our lockers and he holds a flower. Do they even do that? And I recall how me and Jamie were handed a rose each by some random passerby once, on Valentine’s day as well and we swore that we’d be each other’s valentine always, well, now we won’t. He’s rather striking as well. Well-built and seems to be something like some eye candy Jamie would jerk off to. I’ve been paired up with him in chemistry once and he had randomly asked me what I listened to years ago and said he was going to buy vinyl and I just smiled it off.


Apparently he switched teams. 


“Um, where’s Jamie?” I shrug and I wonder myself, as we both didn’t phone each other to meet up and soon enough, we see the talk himself run up and he’s in a suit, a smaller scarf tied around and he stops near the locker, eyes scanning the bloke and me. He smiles wider as he looks at him and tries to stash the guilt in his eyes from me. 


The taller bloke scratches his head and grins, watching Jamie catch his breath and I just watch them unravel in some unrealistic expectation, like a soap opera. 

READ MORE ALISON MOSSHART/JAMIE HINCE FANFICTION AT GRASPTHESANITY

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