Jul
28
2014

Snap Out Of It

It’s the noise which pierces and stings, it’s some daft desire as life seems to be bleak, anxiety no longer even pulling me together to do things, it being rolled in by all bed covers and being under the bed to resemble a monster, seems like the only big opportunity to actually grasp. 

Everything seems to be wrong, that even jealousy doesn’t even tickle me and I have no courage to go back somewhere I even should be in.

Life is too bleak and suicide seems like something even bleaker, why would you throw something away which hasn’t even irritated me, it’s just some dull void, which is just there and the window is always open, letting noises in and I let the knocks go louder and I do eventually get yanked out of bed by the extra key, pretty much yanked by my pajamas and I can hear his boots on the empty pizza boxes.

READ MORE: http://graspthesanity.blogspot.pt/2014/07/snap-out-of-it.html

Snap Out Of It

It’s the noise which pierces and stings, it’s some daft desire as life seems to be bleak, anxiety no longer even pulling me together to do things, it being rolled in by all bed covers and being under the bed to resemble a monster, seems like the only big opportunity to actually grasp.

Everything seems to be wrong, that even jealousy doesn’t even tickle me and I have no courage to go back somewhere I even should be in.

Life is too bleak and suicide seems like something even bleaker, why would you throw something away which hasn’t even irritated me, it’s just some dull void, which is just there and the window is always open, letting noises in and I let the knocks go louder and I do eventually get yanked out of bed by the extra key, pretty much yanked by my pajamas and I can hear his boots on the empty pizza boxes.

READ MORE:

http://graspthesanity.blogspot.pt/2014/07/snap-out-of-it.html

Jul
23
2014

- 2
My hand is still numb in the places he’s touched me and my mind plays tricks on me, saying he’s here when he’s not and I keep lighting cigarettes as they keep going out by themselves as the hours seem to be pushing me towards 1 a.m. again as I actually bother doing pancakes and I feel seeing him as if I should leave a plate for him and not touch it, as it is for the dead.

As I sit I just pull the curtains open and I stare and as I look down to cut the pancakes, I see from the corner of my eye a gray fox jumping in and as soon as I look up it’s gone, but I feel watched, as if he’s standing against the window sill and as I look down the curtains move and that’s when I close them, stuffing my face with pancakes before fear takes my hunger away. 

I feel a brush against my neck and I really wish I had alcohol. 
READ MORE NICK GRIMSHAW FANFICTION HERE

- 2

My hand is still numb in the places he’s touched me and my mind plays tricks on me, saying he’s here when he’s not and I keep lighting cigarettes as they keep going out by themselves as the hours seem to be pushing me towards 1 a.m. again as I actually bother doing pancakes and I feel seeing him as if I should leave a plate for him and not touch it, as it is for the dead.


As I sit I just pull the curtains open and I stare and as I look down to cut the pancakes, I see from the corner of my eye a gray fox jumping in and as soon as I look up it’s gone, but I feel watched, as if he’s standing against the window sill and as I look down the curtains move and that’s when I close them, stuffing my face with pancakes before fear takes my hunger away. 


I feel a brush against my neck and I really wish I had alcohol. 

READ MORE NICK GRIMSHAW FANFICTION HERE

Jul
23
2014

- 2

My hand is still numb in the places he’s touched me and my mind plays tricks on me, saying he’s here when he’s not and I keep lighting cigarettes as they keep going out by themselves as the hours seem to be pushing me towards 1 a.m. again as I actually bother doing pancakes and I feel seeing him as if I should leave a plate for him and not touch it, as it is for the dead.


As I sit I just pull the curtains open and I stare and as I look down to cut the pancakes, I see from the corner of my eye a gray fox jumping in and as soon as I look up it’s gone, but I feel watched, as if he’s standing against the window sill and as I look down the curtains move and that’s when I close them, stuffing my face with pancakes before fear takes my hunger away. 


I feel a brush against my neck and I really wish I had alcohol. 


One minute early the noise comes back and I yank my jacket off the doorknob and pull it on fast, jumping two stairs at a time, as the noise gets faster and harsher and now up the stairs to see no children this time, just blobs of white, the geese now with blood spilling out from their necks, croaks coming out, as the man has his body leaned back on the bench, head leaned back as well, eyes closed and the geese blood stops spilling and the gray fox from earlier strolls by, rubbing by the man’s feet and I notice his high heeled shoes. He opens his eyes, the blood entirely gone and all noise erupts as the blurbs get whiter and whiter until he smiles softly and it’s daylight again

READ MORE JAMIE HINCE/NICK GRIMSHAW FANFICTION HERE

Jul
22
2014

-
I open the window to still hear the noise, this time louder as if it knows me approaching and the children get louder and a ice cream van is heard. It’s one a.m. again, with me tumbling lightly from the walking I’ve done before and how it seemed fitting to just pack my bags and sometimes trips begin to take you in, doors unlocked,

it’s like sand rattling and the children should be asleep, roosters already reminding me that I’ve left everything for Lisbon, just because break ups get the best of you, SIM card taken out and e-mail once a day becoming the sole food for the thought of home. 

It’s not even that I can smoke in the apartment, as the roosters get louder, as if daylight would come soon and it’s been a while since it had left. 

Sand tingling, all noises mechanic and giving an eerie sense of something supernatural, when frankly ghosts don’t exist unless someone is throwing hands up in the air and saying ‘woooo’ only in a more frightful matter. 
READ MORE NICK GRIMSHAW FANFICTION HERE

-

I open the window to still hear the noise, this time louder as if it knows me approaching and the children get louder and a ice cream van is heard. It’s one a.m. again, with me tumbling lightly from the walking I’ve done before and how it seemed fitting to just pack my bags and sometimes trips begin to take you in, doors unlocked,


it’s like sand rattling and the children should be asleep, roosters already reminding me that I’ve left everything for Lisbon, just because break ups get the best of you, SIM card taken out and e-mail once a day becoming the sole food for the thought of home. 


It’s not even that I can smoke in the apartment, as the roosters get louder, as if daylight would come soon and it’s been a while since it had left. 


Sand tingling, all noises mechanic and giving an eerie sense of something supernatural, when frankly ghosts don’t exist unless someone is throwing hands up in the air and saying ‘woooo’ only in a more frightful matter. 

READ MORE NICK GRIMSHAW FANFICTION HERE

Jul
22
2014

CANTEEN 2
The fear of the next morning comes even before the morning strolls in to stroke the windows and I’m still with Miles, who is pretty much passed out and I had just nodded at Jamie, who had lit a cigarette and left, quickly glancing back and I had just snuck in, a key stolen from Miles for a while and everything was quiet besides the burn on my lips from the previous short kiss. Sexuality really slaps you, it doesn’t have to be everyone, it can only be that one person who yanks you out of the waters of your own misunderstanding and he had done so even if I didn’t even realize how attractive he was for a fair while. 

Maybe it’s my own break up with all my senses as I just sit in Miles’ arm chair and I wonder why didn’t he tell me about Ezra and if he does indeed wants to bend me over in two and I just feel like I’ve drank something sacred and I just take off the leather jacket, hearing Miles roll over closer to the wall and I take off my jeans and I wonder how obvious is it that I was attracted to men and how nothing had happened between me and Miles when even our own parents have decided to tell us it’s ok to come out, to which Miles came out and I didn’t.

Maybe the least obvious to you is actually what you are. 
READ MORE ALEX TURNER FANFICTION HERE

CANTEEN 2

The fear of the next morning comes even before the morning strolls in to stroke the windows and I’m still with Miles, who is pretty much passed out and I had just nodded at Jamie, who had lit a cigarette and left, quickly glancing back and I had just snuck in, a key stolen from Miles for a while and everything was quiet besides the burn on my lips from the previous short kiss. Sexuality really slaps you, it doesn’t have to be everyone, it can only be that one person who yanks you out of the waters of your own misunderstanding and he had done so even if I didn’t even realize how attractive he was for a fair while. 


Maybe it’s my own break up with all my senses as I just sit in Miles’ arm chair and I wonder why didn’t he tell me about Ezra and if he does indeed wants to bend me over in two and I just feel like I’ve drank something sacred and I just take off the leather jacket, hearing Miles roll over closer to the wall and I take off my jeans and I wonder how obvious is it that I was attracted to men and how nothing had happened between me and Miles when even our own parents have decided to tell us it’s ok to come out, to which Miles came out and I didn’t.


Maybe the least obvious to you is actually what you are. 

READ MORE ALEX TURNER FANFICTION HERE

Jul
22
2014

Bar Eyes 6
I don’t tremble. Jamie takes me by the chin.

Alex walks in and that’s when the man quickly glances at him, Alex with a bloody bat now and that’s when the man pulls me by the hair and digs his teeth into my neck, eyes closed, eyelashes brushing against me, as Alex drops the bat, a sudden pain going through my entire body. I push the man away as he just wipes the blood of his lips, as Jamie’s lips seem to be in lipstick now and I just hold my hand against my neck, letting the blood flow out, some other substance travelling, pumping through my veins as Alex just yanks the man and presses him against a wall.
 
READ MORE ALISON MOSSHART/ALEX TURNER FANFICTION AT GRASPTHESANITY

Bar Eyes 6

I don’t tremble. Jamie takes me by the chin.


Alex walks in and that’s when the man quickly glances at him, Alex with a bloody bat now and that’s when the man pulls me by the hair and digs his teeth into my neck, eyes closed, eyelashes brushing against me, as Alex drops the bat, a sudden pain going through my entire body. I push the man away as he just wipes the blood of his lips, as Jamie’s lips seem to be in lipstick now and I just hold my hand against my neck, letting the blood flow out, some other substance travelling, pumping through my veins as Alex just yanks the man and presses him against a wall.

 

READ MORE ALISON MOSSHART/ALEX TURNER FANFICTION AT GRASPTHESANITY

Jul
22
2014

TO MILES 32
I wonder if there’s anything else to speak of Matt, how we had done everything together and how my lips had been cut off his harshly for me to see them bleed once I’d press my fingers against them and I’d see Matt with others. The rest of the evening is spent in a very drunk haze, all of us recalling that we should get back on the ship due to the late hours and early start in the morning, that we should be on our way and only then war lingers it’s way into our talk. We should be doing some final training before heading back and Karen mentions that it’s Stalin’s birthday to which a blonde woman joins us, rolling her eyes at Karen, as Karen and Jamie quickly exchange some secret glance, to which the blonde woman is oblivious. I observe her neat pink and white checkered dress as she introduces herself as Marina and we all shake hands and she just smiles. 

I observe her for a while and I think Jamie fixes his glance on her for a while, I watch her interactions with Karen, as Karen talks loudly and Jamie always lights one cigarette for her after another, as they discuss what to do with the place and Marina mentions that she heard of the Bismarck being blown up and Jamie presumes that they would tell us tomorrow. We count the remaining hours and we excuse ourselves, as I glance at Marina again how she interacts with Karen, how they both keep waving their arms around, pointing at walls or ceilings and it’s odd to see a woman actually attractive for once and I quickly notice Jamie look away, a bit locked in thoughts and I smirk to myself. I light the cigarette and I blow smoke in his face, as he is spaced out in his thoughts, he glances at me and I feel my whole self freeze, it’s odd how I never noticed before how attractive he was, it’s also pleasant to see him in other attire, a more groomed version of him and less tired. I hold myself from kissing him again, as we are far too close and Jamie’s green eyes nearly closed and we just clear our throats and pull away, to which I see Karen pout.
 
READ MORE ALEX TURNER FANFICTION HERE

TO MILES 32

I wonder if there’s anything else to speak of Matt, how we had done everything together and how my lips had been cut off his harshly for me to see them bleed once I’d press my fingers against them and I’d see Matt with others. The rest of the evening is spent in a very drunk haze, all of us recalling that we should get back on the ship due to the late hours and early start in the morning, that we should be on our way and only then war lingers it’s way into our talk. We should be doing some final training before heading back and Karen mentions that it’s Stalin’s birthday to which a blonde woman joins us, rolling her eyes at Karen, as Karen and Jamie quickly exchange some secret glance, to which the blonde woman is oblivious. I observe her neat pink and white checkered dress as she introduces herself as Marina and we all shake hands and she just smiles. 

I observe her for a while and I think Jamie fixes his glance on her for a while, I watch her interactions with Karen, as Karen talks loudly and Jamie always lights one cigarette for her after another, as they discuss what to do with the place and Marina mentions that she heard of the Bismarck being blown up and Jamie presumes that they would tell us tomorrow. We count the remaining hours and we excuse ourselves, as I glance at Marina again how she interacts with Karen, how they both keep waving their arms around, pointing at walls or ceilings and it’s odd to see a woman actually attractive for once and I quickly notice Jamie look away, a bit locked in thoughts and I smirk to myself. I light the cigarette and I blow smoke in his face, as he is spaced out in his thoughts, he glances at me and I feel my whole self freeze, it’s odd how I never noticed before how attractive he was, it’s also pleasant to see him in other attire, a more groomed version of him and less tired. I hold myself from kissing him again, as we are far too close and Jamie’s green eyes nearly closed and we just clear our throats and pull away, to which I see Karen pout.
 

Jul
22
2014

You’re Not Coming Back Again
Being in the closet is being among a field of dead sunflowers with some of their leaves changed to red, hope, I guess.I always loved fields and I always wanted to walk in one, maybe that is what I’m doing.I wake up to see him laying on his stomach and facing the other side, rather than myself.I should really stop reading bizarre magazines while I wait for the GP. I lean down to kiss him and he opens his deep brown eyes for a while, grinning.
READ MORE MILES KANE/ALEX TURNER FANFICTION AT GRASPTHESANITY

You’re Not Coming Back Again

Being in the closet is being among a field of dead sunflowers with some of their leaves changed to red, hope, I guess.

I always loved fields and I always wanted to walk in one, maybe that is what I’m doing.

I wake up to see him laying on his stomach and facing the other side, rather than myself.

I should really stop reading bizarre magazines while I wait for the GP. I lean down to kiss him and he opens his deep brown eyes for a while, grinning.

READ MORE MILES KANE/ALEX TURNER FANFICTION AT GRASPTHESANITY

Jul
22
2014

Close 5
At the time being we enter a diner, intending not to pay and I can’t help but chew slowly and the food barely going within me as if the first time all over again, when he had invited me out and I had dreamt of him, wondering how would his lips feel, how he would pin me down, my breath stopping, all of its speed shifting to the heart as he would trace his fingers down my lips and neck, something being ridiculously gracious about him, as if all was planned under the cape, eyes only left to reveal the magician’s tricks. I was nervous even with him and he seemed colder than I had thought and he had told me briefly of Kate, as I had recalled him in the papers and then the hand cast seemed to make sense all of a sudden. 
READ MORE ALISON MOSSHART/JAMIE HINCE FANFICTION AT GRASPTHESANITY

Close 5

At the time being we enter a diner, intending not to pay and I can’t help but chew slowly and the food barely going within me as if the first time all over again, when he had invited me out and I had dreamt of him, wondering how would his lips feel, how he would pin me down, my breath stopping, all of its speed shifting to the heart as he would trace his fingers down my lips and neck, something being ridiculously gracious about him, as if all was planned under the cape, eyes only left to reveal the magician’s tricks. I was nervous even with him and he seemed colder than I had thought and he had told me briefly of Kate, as I had recalled him in the papers and then the hand cast seemed to make sense all of a sudden. 

READ MORE ALISON MOSSHART/JAMIE HINCE FANFICTION AT GRASPTHESANITY

Jul
22
2014

Disaster 2
I wish Marina would be my girlfriend, that we’d giggle and there would be no games but then I don’t think that would be her and then it’s not even her I’m dreaming of, I’d be flirted and played with and with a bunch of aces tucked in her lace sleeves.

I don’t think I’ll be ok until I can pinpoint my feelings and the problem is feelings aren’t flat to be stuck against a wall with a blue pin. 

“Matthew doesn’t like it when I leave him red lipped.” She says and I watch her apply gloss to her lips before we leave school with the days soon enough to be counted in our head, just like it is closer to summer but this time it’s more of a final bell. I just blink, but I keep my silence knocking my Converse together as I sit on the window sill, my body lightly shaking from the fact how her eyes seem to see me through and I can’t actually bring myself to answer her. I just smile, dumbly, something I’m sure she does with her boys. She just smiles back, opening her mouth and applying more to have them more glossy and sugary.
READ MORE LANA DEL REY/MARINA DIAMANDIS FANFICTION AT GRASPTHESANITY

Disaster 2

I wish Marina would be my girlfriend, that we’d giggle and there would be no games but then I don’t think that would be her and then it’s not even her I’m dreaming of, I’d be flirted and played with and with a bunch of aces tucked in her lace sleeves.


I don’t think I’ll be ok until I can pinpoint my feelings and the problem is feelings aren’t flat to be stuck against a wall with a blue pin. 


“Matthew doesn’t like it when I leave him red lipped.” She says and I watch her apply gloss to her lips before we leave school with the days soon enough to be counted in our head, just like it is closer to summer but this time it’s more of a final bell. I just blink, but I keep my silence knocking my Converse together as I sit on the window sill, my body lightly shaking from the fact how her eyes seem to see me through and I can’t actually bring myself to answer her. I just smile, dumbly, something I’m sure she does with her boys. She just smiles back, opening her mouth and applying more to have them more glossy and sugary.

READ MORE LANA DEL REY/MARINA DIAMANDIS FANFICTION AT GRASPTHESANITY

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