Jul
17
2014

-
I open the window to still hear the noise, this time louder as if it knows me approaching and the children get louder and a ice cream van is heard. It’s one a.m. again, with me tumbling lightly from the walking I’ve done before and how it seemed fitting to just pack my bags and sometimes trips begin to take you in, doors unlocked,

it’s like sand rattling and the children should be asleep, roosters already reminding me that I’ve left everything for Lisbon, just because break ups get the best of you, SIM card taken out and e-mail once a day becoming the sole food for the thought of home. 

It’s not even that I can smoke in the apartment, as the roosters get louder, as if daylight would come soon and it’s been a while since it had left. 

Sand tingling, all noises mechanic and giving an eerie sense of something supernatural, when frankly ghosts don’t exist unless someone is throwing hands up in the air and saying ‘woooo’ only in a more frightful matter. 
READ MORE NICK GRIMSHAW/JAMIE HINCE FANFICTION

-

I open the window to still hear the noise, this time louder as if it knows me approaching and the children get louder and a ice cream van is heard. It’s one a.m. again, with me tumbling lightly from the walking I’ve done before and how it seemed fitting to just pack my bags and sometimes trips begin to take you in, doors unlocked,


it’s like sand rattling and the children should be asleep, roosters already reminding me that I’ve left everything for Lisbon, just because break ups get the best of you, SIM card taken out and e-mail once a day becoming the sole food for the thought of home. 


It’s not even that I can smoke in the apartment, as the roosters get louder, as if daylight would come soon and it’s been a while since it had left. 


Sand tingling, all noises mechanic and giving an eerie sense of something supernatural, when frankly ghosts don’t exist unless someone is throwing hands up in the air and saying ‘woooo’ only in a more frightful matter. 

READ MORE NICK GRIMSHAW/JAMIE HINCE FANFICTION

Jul
16
2014

THREESOME11
I kept thinking about Kate but I couldn’t bring myself to call and it’s nagging and I’ve been terrified to do so. It’s as if I am in exam season again and I couldn’t force myself to pick up the books, thinking that all is lost and I start seeing gay couples all over, especially women holding their hands and I even walked into a gay bar, having a woman hit on me but I said I am waiting for a friend, looking at the empty dancefloor, wondering far too much. It feels odd. I remember I had a crush on a girl in school and she was awfully girly. But back then it was different, there was nothing about sexuality, it was about mere attraction and it was among the exams.

It was the first time I had touched myself to a woman and it was like a fire unleashed, my whole body was whining with guilt and when I came it was like the first time, like I haven’t ever breathed air and now I was getting a gulp and it was hot.

Just like Kate is.
READ MORE KATE MOSS FANFICTION HERE

THREESOME11

I kept thinking about Kate but I couldn’t bring myself to call and it’s nagging and I’ve been terrified to do so. It’s as if I am in exam season again and I couldn’t force myself to pick up the books, thinking that all is lost and I start seeing gay couples all over, especially women holding their hands and I even walked into a gay bar, having a woman hit on me but I said I am waiting for a friend, looking at the empty dancefloor, wondering far too much. It feels odd. I remember I had a crush on a girl in school and she was awfully girly. But back then it was different, there was nothing about sexuality, it was about mere attraction and it was among the exams.


It was the first time I had touched myself to a woman and it was like a fire unleashed, my whole body was whining with guilt and when I came it was like the first time, like I haven’t ever breathed air and now I was getting a gulp and it was hot.


Just like Kate is.

READ MORE KATE MOSS FANFICTION HERE

Jul
16
2014

TO MILES 32
“Turner, I need you as evidence.” I remain in the bed. Jamie rolls his eyes. “Turner, NOW.”

And he bangs the door, as Carlos and Julian I guess exchange silent glances as Miles just watches me. I dress up fast, my fingers shaking. Julian stands up and helps me button my uniform and I feel myself shaking. 

It’s the orlop, isn’t it?

Was Alex in it?

I heard they’re sending off twenty men?

How many were there?

Did Alex see it?

Jamie opens the door again and I feel that I could faint, but instead I follow him, as Miles stops Julian from following me and I glance one last time into Miles’ dark eyes, which had captivated me long ago. I stumble on my steps and as soon as we enter the room Jamie presses me against the wall, hungrily kissing me and stops once he realizes how frozen I am and I nearly slide down, as he stops and whatever he asks me feels as if I am underground

under water

I hear my own scream,

before I collapse onto the floor, feeling the thud,
 
READ MORE JAMIE HINCE FANFICTION HERE

TO MILES 32

“Turner, I need you as evidence.” I remain in the bed. Jamie rolls his eyes. “Turner, NOW.”

And he bangs the door, as Carlos and Julian I guess exchange silent glances as Miles just watches me. I dress up fast, my fingers shaking. Julian stands up and helps me button my uniform and I feel myself shaking. 

It’s the orlop, isn’t it?

Was Alex in it?

I heard they’re sending off twenty men?

How many were there?

Did Alex see it?

Jamie opens the door again and I feel that I could faint, but instead I follow him, as Miles stops Julian from following me and I glance one last time into Miles’ dark eyes, which had captivated me long ago. I stumble on my steps and as soon as we enter the room Jamie presses me against the wall, hungrily kissing me and stops once he realizes how frozen I am and I nearly slide down, as he stops and whatever he asks me feels as if I am underground

under water

I hear my own scream,

before I collapse onto the floor, feeling the thud,
 

Jul
16
2014

POISON THE ROSE3
My mother would ask me what am I drawing and my father would worry, but the melancholy of it seemed stinging, that I could listen to music, which I cannot listen to now.It seems very depressive so that makes me wonder was I actually more depressed before? Then how come I wasn’t on prozac and forced to exercise and have a shrink?I feel bad for feeling miserable on my parents’ couch, never telling that Lana was my lover. I feel worse, losing all jobs I had and just coming back, everyone knowing how tragic Lana’s death was and how some people were expected to be the killer and I’d be asked. I was there when she was killed. I was shopping for some dumb gift with Jamie, his wife, not too attractive and the fact that back when I thought I was straight, I thought I loved him, makes it worse and I don’t think we’ll last long enough.
READ MORE LANA DEL REY FANFICTION HERE

POISON THE ROSE3

My mother would ask me what am I drawing and my father would worry, but the melancholy of it seemed stinging, that I could listen to music, which I cannot listen to now.

It seems very depressive so that makes me wonder was I actually more depressed before? Then how come I wasn’t on prozac and forced to exercise and have a shrink?

I feel bad for feeling miserable on my parents’ couch, never telling that Lana was my lover. I feel worse, losing all jobs I had and just coming back, everyone knowing how tragic Lana’s death was and how some people were expected to be the killer and I’d be asked. I was there when she was killed. I was shopping for some dumb gift with Jamie, his wife, not too attractive and the fact that back when I thought I was straight, I thought I loved him, makes it worse and I don’t think we’ll last long enough.

READ MORE LANA DEL REY FANFICTION HERE

Jul
16
2014

THE BLUNDERBUSS ANGEL SAID THE UNION IS FOREVER 6
The pills had started working then in high school and I noticed men around me, as if all the women faded out. 

Just like it were now, even if I get married and there are petals thrown at us and everything changes with drugs, I don’t get dreams of people dying and I wake up feeling in bliss until I recall that I am with a woman when I want a man to lay by my side. So I stand up and I smoke outside, in my boxers, sun already grazing the streets and I keep smoking in my briefs, knowing how lazy the neighborhood is, even up to the point that I could take out my cock and wank, nothing would happen. 

Then I see a girl in a window and I make my way in, not interested in women, yet Kate feels like a cover. There is nothing wrong with her or the sex, it’s more fluid, it just happens with images of Jack starting to fill my mind. 
READ MORE JACK WHITE FANFICTION HERE

THE BLUNDERBUSS ANGEL SAID THE UNION IS FOREVER 6

The pills had started working then in high school and I noticed men around me, as if all the women faded out. 


Just like it were now, even if I get married and there are petals thrown at us and everything changes with drugs, I don’t get dreams of people dying and I wake up feeling in bliss until I recall that I am with a woman when I want a man to lay by my side. So I stand up and I smoke outside, in my boxers, sun already grazing the streets and I keep smoking in my briefs, knowing how lazy the neighborhood is, even up to the point that I could take out my cock and wank, nothing would happen. 


Then I see a girl in a window and I make my way in, not interested in women, yet Kate feels like a cover. There is nothing wrong with her or the sex, it’s more fluid, it just happens with images of Jack starting to fill my mind. 

READ MORE JACK WHITE FANFICTION HERE

Jul
16
2014

BLUE/JACKET
I still count everything in my head and still translating even the minor things as I look right to choose a bigger grädfil and I see him. 

With the jacket, the neatly shaved back of the head.

He’s got a scarf around him, his quiff intact and eyes nearly fully sleepily closed, the leather jacket opened though, the letters a bit rubbed off on the back, not as clear as in my head-

And he glances at me, his dark eyes not catching anything and he’s a bit shorter than I am. I don’t grab the grädfil, still staring at him as he just grabs the Russian kefir and turns around, not even with a cart. 

It’s minus and he’s in the leather jacket and I think I’ve shivered enough and I just stare at him, I walk behind him, my cart nearly empty and he doesn’t bother to look back and I can’t see to wake up from my nightmare gone wrong, as he still walks past the isles, past the press with Princess Victoria and the one brand of Swedish condoms. I watch him pay and I don’t even say hej, praying that I’ll manage to follow him and I just make a dash to the further exit to do self-check out in a second and when I walk out he’s there with a fag between his lips. His dark eyes focus on me and I didn’t button up anything and I get reminded on how I’m sure I don’t look attractive at all with something like a bad stubble never really shaved off properly and the haircut just done because I wanted something masculine, but he doesn’t bat an eyelash. 
READ MORE ALEX TURNER FANFICTION HERE

BLUE/JACKET

I still count everything in my head and still translating even the minor things as I look right to choose a bigger grädfil and I see him. 


With the jacket, the neatly shaved back of the head.


He’s got a scarf around him, his quiff intact and eyes nearly fully sleepily closed, the leather jacket opened though, the letters a bit rubbed off on the back, not as clear as in my head-


And he glances at me, his dark eyes not catching anything and he’s a bit shorter than I am. I don’t grab the grädfil, still staring at him as he just grabs the Russian kefir and turns around, not even with a cart. 


It’s minus and he’s in the leather jacket and I think I’ve shivered enough and I just stare at him, I walk behind him, my cart nearly empty and he doesn’t bother to look back and I can’t see to wake up from my nightmare gone wrong, as he still walks past the isles, past the press with Princess Victoria and the one brand of Swedish condoms. I watch him pay and I don’t even say hej, praying that I’ll manage to follow him and I just make a dash to the further exit to do self-check out in a second and when I walk out he’s there with a fag between his lips. His dark eyes focus on me and I didn’t button up anything and I get reminded on how I’m sure I don’t look attractive at all with something like a bad stubble never really shaved off properly and the haircut just done because I wanted something masculine, but he doesn’t bat an eyelash. 

READ MORE ALEX TURNER FANFICTION HERE

Jul
16
2014

START FINDING PASSION 2
Jack and Julian both stay over even if me and Jamie share the bed, as I still keep shivering, Jamie also awake, both of us glancing at each other, counting the remaining days, eternity seems to clench our jaws as I still see the hands, as they ruffle mindlessly the bags. As a bag was shown to us later with the knives, more evidence proved and we were allowed out as Jamie’s parents came back, now me and Jamie sitting on opposite sides of the car, pretending to never be lovers even if for the straights you are always straight. 
We showered together, which raised no eyebrows, Jamie’s head against the wall, as I was drying my hair and I kept looking at his back, how he slowly started tanning towards the end and how we both seemed to be getting bored with the outcome of his parents nagging at his lack of a girlfriend, inviting me over for Jaime to have a friend here, that we could share an apartment, but that even after the assault they were offended, that Jamie was still moving to Sweden, they tried their broken English, saying how Brazil is better and their fluent native portuguese, as Jamie would just palen, Julian roll his eyes and tell them to go fuck themselves, Jack polietly watching all of this, hands under the table, closing his eyes from while to while, fighting sleep as he’d dedicate all his awake state to Jamie.
We were alone in the room as Julian and Jamie headed outside to buy some beer and I wondered would I have the guts to ask, our conversations usually being very shallow about how much either of us loved Jamie. 
READ MORE JULIAN CASABLANCAS FANFICTION HERE

START FINDING PASSION 2

Jack and Julian both stay over even if me and Jamie share the bed, as I still keep shivering, Jamie also awake, both of us glancing at each other, counting the remaining days, eternity seems to clench our jaws as I still see the hands, as they ruffle mindlessly the bags. As a bag was shown to us later with the knives, more evidence proved and we were allowed out as Jamie’s parents came back, now me and Jamie sitting on opposite sides of the car, pretending to never be lovers even if for the straights you are always straight. 
We showered together, which raised no eyebrows, Jamie’s head against the wall, as I was drying my hair and I kept looking at his back, how he slowly started tanning towards the end and how we both seemed to be getting bored with the outcome of his parents nagging at his lack of a girlfriend, inviting me over for Jaime to have a friend here, that we could share an apartment, but that even after the assault they were offended, that Jamie was still moving to Sweden, they tried their broken English, saying how Brazil is better and their fluent native portuguese, as Jamie would just palen, Julian roll his eyes and tell them to go fuck themselves, Jack polietly watching all of this, hands under the table, closing his eyes from while to while, fighting sleep as he’d dedicate all his awake state to Jamie.
We were alone in the room as Julian and Jamie headed outside to buy some beer and I wondered would I have the guts to ask, our conversations usually being very shallow about how much either of us loved Jamie. 

Jul
16
2014

SETTLE A QUARREL 2
There’s this drive which keeps pulling me towards her, nudging me to get closer, some intense longing which seems to split my throat apart and it keeps getting worse if I get closer or if we don’t and when we break up again and again my head just buzzes and it doesn’t ease. It’s all different kinds of pain and they only soothe and let me go when I let her take over me and then we both ease, I know the feeling, it’s that split second after an orgasm when the moans are still just fresh out of the mouth, the body catching up on the relief and just before you collapse, just like your body doesn’t register death straight away
it doesn’t register that we’re not together,
that I’m not with her and that I slap her away with my own boundaries which she has helped me build and dragged me away from once Jack had left. 
I think the thing about love is that you can’t kill, passion is the poison or some fragile love which will crawl back and sting you but the thing is, it’s still dead,
it’s not the love which comes out when you see the person, it’s not the fear of seeing them which drowns you

it’s the fact that the tongue and mind will nag what the fuck is wrong with you
READ MORE ALISON MOSSHART FANFICTION HERE

SETTLE A QUARREL 2

There’s this drive which keeps pulling me towards her, nudging me to get closer, some intense longing which seems to split my throat apart and it keeps getting worse if I get closer or if we don’t and when we break up again and again my head just buzzes and it doesn’t ease. It’s all different kinds of pain and they only soothe and let me go when I let her take over me and then we both ease, I know the feeling, it’s that split second after an orgasm when the moans are still just fresh out of the mouth, the body catching up on the relief and just before you collapse, just like your body doesn’t register death straight away
it doesn’t register that we’re not together,
that I’m not with her and that I slap her away with my own boundaries which she has helped me build and dragged me away from once Jack had left. 
I think the thing about love is that you can’t kill, passion is the poison or some fragile love which will crawl back and sting you but the thing is, it’s still dead,
it’s not the love which comes out when you see the person, it’s not the fear of seeing them which drowns you

it’s the fact that the tongue and mind will nag what the fuck is wrong with you

Jul
15
2014

get down on your knees on the tunnel of love
I wake up and I wonder where has my life gone, why have all the decisions I’ve done long gone, there’s just the small traces left in the wood, there’s not even ash and I start thinking that it just might still be in my head.

The worries I’ve got sometimes seem small but around a bunch of couples and people divorcing, marrying and drinking the question is always

always

brought up again and when you’re single you start ruffling through your exes, I don’t even need a damn drink in my hand, I just have to cross the floor, kick the rug and raid through the vinyls to find the most used ones and wonder if the cigarette smell on them is my own or his.

His.
 
READ MORE BRIAN MOLKO/JAMIE HINCE FANFICTION AT GRASPTHESANITY

get down on your knees on the tunnel of love

I wake up and I wonder where has my life gone, why have all the decisions I’ve done long gone, there’s just the small traces left in the wood, there’s not even ash and I start thinking that it just might still be in my head.


The worries I’ve got sometimes seem small but around a bunch of couples and people divorcing, marrying and drinking the question is always


always


brought up again and when you’re single you start ruffling through your exes, I don’t even need a damn drink in my hand, I just have to cross the floor, kick the rug and raid through the vinyls to find the most used ones and wonder if the cigarette smell on them is my own or his.


His.

 

READ MORE BRIAN MOLKO/JAMIE HINCE FANFICTION AT GRASPTHESANITY

Jul
15
2014

Bar Eyes 6
Alex walks in and that’s when the man quickly glances at him, Alex with a bloody bat now and that’s when the man pulls me by the hair and digs his teeth into my neck, eyes closed, eyelashes brushing against me, as Alex drops the bat, a sudden pain going through my entire body. I push the man away as he just wipes the blood of his lips, as Jamie’s lips seem to be in lipstick now and I just hold my hand against my neck, letting the blood flow out, some other substance travelling, pumping through my veins as Alex just yanks the man and presses him against a wall.
READ MORE ALISON MOSSHART/ALEX TURNER/JAMIE HINCE FANFICTION AT GRASPTHESANITY

Bar Eyes 6

Alex walks in and that’s when the man quickly glances at him, Alex with a bloody bat now and that’s when the man pulls me by the hair and digs his teeth into my neck, eyes closed, eyelashes brushing against me, as Alex drops the bat, a sudden pain going through my entire body. I push the man away as he just wipes the blood of his lips, as Jamie’s lips seem to be in lipstick now and I just hold my hand against my neck, letting the blood flow out, some other substance travelling, pumping through my veins as Alex just yanks the man and presses him against a wall.

READ MORE ALISON MOSSHART/ALEX TURNER/JAMIE HINCE FANFICTION AT GRASPTHESANITY

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