graspTHEsanity

“I DON’T THINK MUSIC WILL EVER MATCH MY STATE OF MIND.” RED CURTAINS AND KISSES.

I blow bubbles into the water, my eyes still swollen from the flu and my whole body feels like a bursting bubble, only my walls are elastic and I cannot die.

Peter puts his head on the edge of the tub and his hands come to my forehead, running his fingers through my hair, lifting up, my eyes close and he pours water on my hair, blood gushing out of my nose, all of it dry now turns into paint and I gasp, opening my eyes, maybe even a third to see nothing at all.

“Pete.” The r is muffled and he doesn’t glare at me, he looks a bit stoned, laughing at the blood and maybe I’ve even not got teeth, I look down at the stitch in my arm as Pete pinches it and we both laugh.

READ MORE PETER DOHERTY FANFICTION

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THE BLUNDERBUSS ANGEL SAID THE UNION IS FOREVER 5

Back in high school I couldn’t say speak lower as if I had a headache. I was ashamed to mention the prescribed pills and we still don’t talk about depression, as if it is something shameful, but neither do people talk about HIV. Sometimes I would wish that teachers watched their words and I would say, oi, watch it, I’m depressed, but that just makes it worse when you think of it.

Depression stretched longer, myself dropping medication at times and coming back to it.

I think of Jack’s beauty and the hangover buzzes in my head

READ MORE JACK WHITE FANFICTION

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graspthesanity.blogspot.com #lesfic #fanfiction #fanfic #lanadelrey #ladygaga #maxbemis #fiction

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Hell

It feels as if you’re always getting driven to the left where the devil is as you stand in the supermarket and you just walk out and you see fires around your eyes and hell as if the book will be given to you.

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HIGH ADDICTION 2

She gets scared of turbulence and I just get more turned on as her curls swing with the turbulence and I recall how was it coming out with all the shocks, yells and accusations of not acceptance and even partners or people who presumed how the word would spread in circles and the phobia would circle the streets even if it would be London with its scene I would still press my hands against my ears.

The woman rubs her ring and I keep glancing at her breasts.

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POISON THE ROSE

I keep shaking, gasping, pressing her mouth harder, I have no idea how she can breathe.

“Lana

Lana.”

And she can’t.

I see her eyes open wide, blood spreading in the wings of the angel, snow helping her draw the feathers, as then the police take her body up and her hair starts falling off, all of it seems to be cut off as I keep screaming mixed with tears, snot running into my mouth, making me cough, her hair keeps falling like feathers, not leaving her anything to fly with.

Her eyes stare at me,

as she is taken away.

READ MORE LANA DEL REY FANFICTION

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STALE SMOKE IN A RUNNING CIRCLE 6

“I don’t like straight people. Too stuck up.” The blonde starts making himself tea and we all watch him with a leftover bit of his morning erection which he might’ve used and is fading off and we slowly all watch him sip his tea.

“I fucked a man.” Jamie swallows.

“Wrong.” The blonde little man smirks. “I fucked you.”

And then I’d expect Jamie to collapse but instead he puts his hand in front of his cock and the blonde man turns to see him and smiles softly as Jamie is still shivering from inner cold and I see the man just finnish his tea as if he were from Twin Peaks and holds some cold inner self.

He pats Jamie’s shoulder which is taller than he is.

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I’m being harsh, but I never got the protectiveness I would have gotten as a woman instead I got footballs in my mouth and broken teeth to be fixed later by a dentist in a few weeks time, waiting list. If I were a woman I’d be taken somewhere else, I always thought being a girl would be better, but the thing is, I don’t have to become a woman to be sensitive. I’ve gone in dresses and thought of dysphoria, but in the end I just became a man, more manly, actually managing a game of football and I love men as much as I love women. I had to linger between bisexuality and pansexuality until I realized that I don’t care what you have, I don’t care if you’ll fuck me with silicone, as long as our sex isn’t simply you fucking me or me fucking you monotonically until you cheat on me, I don’t care.

READ MORE BRIAN MOLKO FANFICTION

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Untitled 5Silence Seems To Feed Us 10

The way from Edinburgh was even more dull and Alison seemed to have no attention, reading a copy of metro left by someone who had jumped off near the borders and she just kept ignoring me.

Chapter 1 here

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Always Golden

I just wish I could operate with a cigarette in my mouth, as I press the brain lightly to get a reaction. And in less than an hour I’m done.

I get called out by the nurse to see my father.

I walked out in bloody gloves just to give him a small fright and we walk into my cabinet. I’ve got a break, I can do what I want.

“Yes, dad?” I raise my eyes and I realize how much I need a fag. I start taking off the bloody gloves as he just stares at me and I don’t raise my eyes.

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