Sep
29
2014

CLOSE 7
I always wondered what was it inside that would cause someone to kill anyone and how would the hand not even tremble, how come Kate could do that when I had too many thoughts in my head of cutting someone’s life off and ruining someone’s fate and lover? I wouldn’t want to get killed, while robbing was a different story, Jamie just said that it started off as need and then progressed, the style a bit too glamorous and the fact that nothing could be done when you were in exile in society, when all the votes were against you and he still remained quiet on too many things, like why he had left home and even on Kate he still seemed silent. 

And we head out, a suitcase with gathered things with Jamie, as he carries it and he has a different coat, a plaid one and quickly glances at me as we head to the train station. He tells me we will have to come back tomorrow as well, he studies the schedule, asks for the tickets and I wonder far too much, as I watch him walk around the station and throw a bottle of water from Boots. 

“There’s too many things you do for love.” He says, looking at me darkly, his hair a bit out of place, as his eyes darken and I wonder if that’s how you look when you sell your soul to the devil. And I wonder if Kate hadn’t died would I always be the lover on the side, as we buy the tickets with the last money and I wonder why he had chosen something as expensive as that. 
READ MORE THE KILLS FANFICTION HERE

CLOSE 7

I always wondered what was it inside that would cause someone to kill anyone and how would the hand not even tremble, how come Kate could do that when I had too many thoughts in my head of cutting someone’s life off and ruining someone’s fate and lover? I wouldn’t want to get killed, while robbing was a different story, Jamie just said that it started off as need and then progressed, the style a bit too glamorous and the fact that nothing could be done when you were in exile in society, when all the votes were against you and he still remained quiet on too many things, like why he had left home and even on Kate he still seemed silent. 


And we head out, a suitcase with gathered things with Jamie, as he carries it and he has a different coat, a plaid one and quickly glances at me as we head to the train station. He tells me we will have to come back tomorrow as well, he studies the schedule, asks for the tickets and I wonder far too much, as I watch him walk around the station and throw a bottle of water from Boots. 


“There’s too many things you do for love.” He says, looking at me darkly, his hair a bit out of place, as his eyes darken and I wonder if that’s how you look when you sell your soul to the devil. And I wonder if Kate hadn’t died would I always be the lover on the side, as we buy the tickets with the last money and I wonder why he had chosen something as expensive as that. 

READ MORE THE KILLS FANFICTION HERE

Sep
29
2014

STALE SMOKE IN A RUNNING CIRCLE 10
The question is more than plain?

Where do I begin?

Where do I start? Where does the dysphoria start and where does my desire to be with Jamie end? 

It’s not even about myself, it’s a mixture of indeed myself and where do I fit in with Jamie.  It’s about the anxiety of oneself and the other, since by the end of the day when you want to be in a relationship-

it’s both and it’s where two sexualities collide and not even being sure of myself, makes me anxious as I look at him as he comes back, quickly shooting a glance at Alex, who I seem to be avoiding and this seems to be a morning of confessions and I look around at all the cis men, not feeling any different, I still hold the same feelings, the ease and the attraction is all there.
READ THE LAST CHAPTER HERE

STALE SMOKE IN A RUNNING CIRCLE 10

The question is more than plain?


Where do I begin?


Where do I start? Where does the dysphoria start and where does my desire to be with Jamie end? 


It’s not even about myself, it’s a mixture of indeed myself and where do I fit in with Jamie.  It’s about the anxiety of oneself and the other, since by the end of the day when you want to be in a relationship-


it’s both and it’s where two sexualities collide and not even being sure of myself, makes me anxious as I look at him as he comes back, quickly shooting a glance at Alex, who I seem to be avoiding and this seems to be a morning of confessions and I look around at all the cis men, not feeling any different, I still hold the same feelings, the ease and the attraction is all there.

READ THE LAST CHAPTER HERE

Sep
27
2014

TO MILES 35
“It’s funny because usually those wait by the sea. C’mon, a child is a good thing.” I smile at him but instead I just hold him until I have to head off and that’s when he doesn’t stop kissing me and it’s consuming, it’s far too explosive and I know I’m pushing my health too much when we are pushed back on the bed, grinding and I know there’s days and days left but he doesn’t stop and neither do I. The days come and go as if the hole in the wall grows and soon enough the date arrives and we both just leave with a small gap in between and we both go to the hospital and it’s weird to see him in his suit, already changed to make sure to look civilian, but claiming that he’ll be putting on the uniform to put the other child to sleep anyway, as that’s what they ask and it’s what Jamie himself would ask his dad and I don’t hastily kiss him on the lips, instead we just depart and I promise to meet him after the hospital.
I don’t cry in the queue and three months feels long, it’s nothing liberating and we’ve discussed fidelity, that he would be sleeping with Alison, that I should catch at least someone, the orders still strict and that he doesn’t mind what I do and even if it were with Miles, which made me raise an eyebrow, but I kept it at such.
I look at the door, a bit uncomfortable and soon enough the queue is just a few more men who I’ve never seen before and I’ll have to head in.
READ MORE JAMIE HINCE FANFICTION HERE

TO MILES 35

“It’s funny because usually those wait by the sea. C’mon, a child is a good thing.” I smile at him but instead I just hold him until I have to head off and that’s when he doesn’t stop kissing me and it’s consuming, it’s far too explosive and I know I’m pushing my health too much when we are pushed back on the bed, grinding and I know there’s days and days left but he doesn’t stop and neither do I. The days come and go as if the hole in the wall grows and soon enough the date arrives and we both just leave with a small gap in between and we both go to the hospital and it’s weird to see him in his suit, already changed to make sure to look civilian, but claiming that he’ll be putting on the uniform to put the other child to sleep anyway, as that’s what they ask and it’s what Jamie himself would ask his dad and I don’t hastily kiss him on the lips, instead we just depart and I promise to meet him after the hospital.
I don’t cry in the queue and three months feels long, it’s nothing liberating and we’ve discussed fidelity, that he would be sleeping with Alison, that I should catch at least someone, the orders still strict and that he doesn’t mind what I do and even if it were with Miles, which made me raise an eyebrow, but I kept it at such.
I look at the door, a bit uncomfortable and soon enough the queue is just a few more men who I’ve never seen before and I’ll have to head in.

READ MORE JAMIE HINCE FANFICTION HERE

Sep
25
2014

Close
“She wasn’t that much of a pretty woman, was she?” And I light a cigarette, as Jamie’s head is in my lap.“Fuck no.” As he looks at me the eyes covered by shades and licks his ice cream, the park covered in bonfire smoke. Jamie’s smoke matches the rest of the bonfire smoke after a while as he watches it and takes out a gun to press it against my forehead, I grab his hand, pulling the gun down, but he keeps it straight on my forehead. He fires, the gun pulled a bit away, the serious face still held and bubbles come out of it. And then he laughs and I pull his cigarette away from him, as he hands out some candy in a paper bag and I take a few, shielding my eyes from the sun. 
READ MORE ALISON MOSSHART/JAMIE HINCE FANFICTION AT GRASPTHESANITY

Close

“She wasn’t that much of a pretty woman, was she?” And I light a cigarette, as Jamie’s head is in my lap.

“Fuck no.” As he looks at me the eyes covered by shades and licks his ice cream, the park covered in bonfire smoke. Jamie’s smoke matches the rest of the bonfire smoke after a while as he watches it and takes out a gun to press it against my forehead, I grab his hand, pulling the gun down, but he keeps it straight on my forehead. 

He fires, the gun pulled a bit away, the serious face still held and bubbles come out of it. And then he laughs and I pull his cigarette away from him, as he hands out some candy in a paper bag and I take a few, shielding my eyes from the sun. 

READ MORE ALISON MOSSHART/JAMIE HINCE FANFICTION AT GRASPTHESANITY

Sep
24
2014

let’s make straight offensive since they’re such bigots 4

Lips sting as if the kiss had already happened and he lures in on my mind as we sit next on the lessons and even share from the same book. Keeping our silence all the way to lunch which is when we should talk.

I don’t have the courage as I keep looking at him and his scarf is tied too messy as we head towards the lockers, my heart pounding too furiously and I can hear the blood in my ears.

“Look-”

“Oh, another valentine. Someone’s horny.” He smirks and opens it as I just stand with my mouth open and a finger in air. Fuck, fuck, fuck that asshole who is writing to him. I don’t do anything as Jamie just scans the letter many many times before folding it and putting in his shirt pocket. I close my mouth as he turns around on his heel and I solely follow him. I nearly go behind, my thoughts far too shredded with some insane hope. I should’ve never seen that list but as I look at my hands, it would’ve happened anyway. I love him too much as a friend. We’ve known each other since primary. 

READ MORE ALISON MOSSHART/JAMIE HINCE FANFICTION: http://graspthesanity.blogspot.pt/2014/09/lets-make-straight-offensive-since.html

let’s make straight offensive since they’re such bigots 4

Lips sting as if the kiss had already happened and he lures in on my mind as we sit next on the lessons and even share from the same book. Keeping our silence all the way to lunch which is when we should talk.

I don’t have the courage as I keep looking at him and his scarf is tied too messy as we head towards the lockers, my heart pounding too furiously and I can hear the blood in my ears.

“Look-”

“Oh, another valentine. Someone’s horny.” He smirks and opens it as I just stand with my mouth open and a finger in air. Fuck, fuck, fuck that asshole who is writing to him. I don’t do anything as Jamie just scans the letter many many times before folding it and putting in his shirt pocket. I close my mouth as he turns around on his heel and I solely follow him. I nearly go behind, my thoughts far too shredded with some insane hope. I should’ve never seen that list but as I look at my hands, it would’ve happened anyway. I love him too much as a friend. We’ve known each other since primary.

READ MORE ALISON MOSSHART/JAMIE HINCE FANFICTION: http://graspthesanity.blogspot.pt/2014/09/lets-make-straight-offensive-since.html

Sep
21
2014

To Miles 34

“So we’re not a couple, you’re saying?” He says roughly, cigarette in mouth and I watch the smoke escape envious that it had been inside him and that brief moment that it rubs against his lips, blood is far too thick and far too evident. 

“No, I’m just saying… I sleep around and so do you.” I cough lightly and that causes Jamie to quickly push me down into the covers and his hair is lightly out of place and we both stare at each other and I can’t help but ease in his dark green eyes, my whole body swelling and I lean in a bit closer and he hesitates, but we hold the kiss, touching tongues for a brief while. Soon enough I won’t even hold. I push his hair back in place and I smile lightly, pushing it heavier under his hat. “I love you so much.”

That my chest aches and there’s nothing else to tell,
The words jumble and become gibberish.

I recall parts of the poem, throughtfully even through fever as I can’t help but push him over me and we both feel excited.

READ MORE ALEX TURNER/JAMIE HINCE FANFICTION: http://graspthesanity.blogspot.se/2014/09/to-miles-34.html

To Miles 34

“So we’re not a couple, you’re saying?” He says roughly, cigarette in mouth and I watch the smoke escape envious that it had been inside him and that brief moment that it rubs against his lips, blood is far too thick and far too evident.

“No, I’m just saying… I sleep around and so do you.” I cough lightly and that causes Jamie to quickly push me down into the covers and his hair is lightly out of place and we both stare at each other and I can’t help but ease in his dark green eyes, my whole body swelling and I lean in a bit closer and he hesitates, but we hold the kiss, touching tongues for a brief while. Soon enough I won’t even hold. I push his hair back in place and I smile lightly, pushing it heavier under his hat. “I love you so much.”

That my chest aches and there’s nothing else to tell,
The words jumble and become gibberish.

I recall parts of the poem, throughtfully even through fever as I can’t help but push him over me and we both feel excited.

READ MORE ALEX TURNER/JAMIE HINCE FANFICTION: http://graspthesanity.blogspot.se/2014/09/to-miles-34.html

Sep
21
2014

Apathy Aftertaste

I honestly think that life is pushing me to the tip of suicide. 

I look behind, to see him give me a soft wave and nod to look back at the teacher and I sigh, trying not to fiddle even more with the notebooks, my mind humming far too loudly and the clock which has no sound, is far too loud in my head, muting everything and I just keep replaying nightmares in my head which had been last night, spitting out blood in the sink and noticing how all my temples had gone gray. 

“It shouldn’t be hard.” Jack told me as he arrived at four a.m. parents no longer caring and all under a healthy doze of Xanax, waiting for me to pack my bags, but Jack insisted that this should still be the place where the ritual of getting rid of the past should be and he proceeded to dye my hair until there was pounding on the door and we emerged, just for mom and dad to think we fucked. 

READ MORE JAMIE HINCE/JACK WHITE FANFICTION: http://graspthesanity.blogspot.pt/2014/09/apathy-aftertaste.html

Apathy Aftertaste

I honestly think that life is pushing me to the tip of suicide.

I look behind, to see him give me a soft wave and nod to look back at the teacher and I sigh, trying not to fiddle even more with the notebooks, my mind humming far too loudly and the clock which has no sound, is far too loud in my head, muting everything and I just keep replaying nightmares in my head which had been last night, spitting out blood in the sink and noticing how all my temples had gone gray.

“It shouldn’t be hard.” Jack told me as he arrived at four a.m. parents no longer caring and all under a healthy doze of Xanax, waiting for me to pack my bags, but Jack insisted that this should still be the place where the ritual of getting rid of the past should be and he proceeded to dye my hair until there was pounding on the door and we emerged, just for mom and dad to think we fucked.

READ MORE JAMIE HINCE/JACK WHITE FANFICTION: http://graspthesanity.blogspot.pt/2014/09/apathy-aftertaste.html

Sep
18
2014

- 5
I don’t think he exists and I’m mental and my body could be solely going numb by itself. My bed seems rougher than usual and my mouth is now fully numb and I wonder how much will I even last, I barely manage to eat cereal, my hands shaking whenever I try to cook and the city seems bleak and it ends up with me glancing at every clock, at every watch to make sure that I am nowhere near the time and I wonder what would happen if I stay inside, but it’s too strong and with a spinning head I should still head out-

and I do, the sprinklers already on me and I watch him, grin, twisting and I expect him to laugh, but he doesn’t his eyes the colour of the blood I’d be running and he doesn’t speak, the sprinklers making me wetter and I can’t help but keep staring at him-

What is the deal then?
READ MORE JAMIE HINCE FANFICTION HERE

- 5

I don’t think he exists and I’m mental and my body could be solely going numb by itself. My bed seems rougher than usual and my mouth is now fully numb and I wonder how much will I even last, I barely manage to eat cereal, my hands shaking whenever I try to cook and the city seems bleak and it ends up with me glancing at every clock, at every watch to make sure that I am nowhere near the time and I wonder what would happen if I stay inside, but it’s too strong and with a spinning head I should still head out-


and I do, the sprinklers already on me and I watch him, grin, twisting and I expect him to laugh, but he doesn’t his eyes the colour of the blood I’d be running and he doesn’t speak, the sprinklers making me wetter and I can’t help but keep staring at him-


What is the deal then?

READ MORE JAMIE HINCE FANFICTION HERE

Sep
18
2014

To Miles 34

“He visited you a few times.” Jamie’s voice barely breaks as he takes the deck of card and shuffles. I see him take out two Jacks. He’d be a King, right?

“How many did you visit?” He takes out one clubs and one diamonds. He smiles, scratching his stubble before putting out the needed cards and chants under his breath. 

“Few times a day, all the time I could. Repeat after me, Al.” I’m nearly in the middle of the circle, Miles two cards behind me, on my side. Hince smirks.

“Leftover feelings.” He points me in the chest. Before I do anything, he quickly gets himself a king of spades and leaves the Jack and quickly shuffles. 

READ MORE ALEX TURNER/MILES KANE/JAMIE HINCE FANFICTION: http://graspthesanity.blogspot.se/2014/09/to-miles-34.html

To Miles 34

“He visited you a few times.” Jamie’s voice barely breaks as he takes the deck of card and shuffles. I see him take out two Jacks. He’d be a King, right?

“How many did you visit?” He takes out one clubs and one diamonds. He smiles, scratching his stubble before putting out the needed cards and chants under his breath.

“Few times a day, all the time I could. Repeat after me, Al.” I’m nearly in the middle of the circle, Miles two cards behind me, on my side. Hince smirks.

“Leftover feelings.” He points me in the chest. Before I do anything, he quickly gets himself a king of spades and leaves the Jack and quickly shuffles.

READ MORE ALEX TURNER/MILES KANE/JAMIE HINCE FANFICTION: http://graspthesanity.blogspot.se/2014/09/to-miles-34.html

Sep
17
2014

TO MILES 34
The illness starts wearing off on Christmas eve, when Jamie brings coffee for both of us and I feel oddly better this morning, my anxiety rising and my mind far too sober, which Jamie explains that the medicine should’ve started working on me properly as he smiles and I can’t even recall what he had said regarding me kissing Miles again. He kisses me softly and I apologize for not having a gift due to my unconscious state and I suggest paying in sex whenever I can, smirking. Jamie mock rants that he’d get sex anyway and we laugh it off as I make space for him on the bed, my hands still trembling.

Maybe the devil did make himself into my guardian angel, but isn’t then when you can see both sides that you can choose?

I don’t really speak much, Miles running in my eyes and I know Jamie’s heard of it and he keeps silent at first, presuming that I’m still ill but only my skin recently is the sole thing which gives it away as I lift myself up. Where does wrong even end? I push myself back down as I feel him pull me closer and I close my eyes. I’m thankful for whatever anyone else is doing and I wonder how deep are we and closer to Christmas. I can’t speak and fear seems to be pounding and I wonder if it’s solely minutes left until Christmas. 
READ MORE JAMIE HINCE FANFICTION HERE

TO MILES 34

The illness starts wearing off on Christmas eve, when Jamie brings coffee for both of us and I feel oddly better this morning, my anxiety rising and my mind far too sober, which Jamie explains that the medicine should’ve started working on me properly as he smiles and I can’t even recall what he had said regarding me kissing Miles again. He kisses me softly and I apologize for not having a gift due to my unconscious state and I suggest paying in sex whenever I can, smirking. Jamie mock rants that he’d get sex anyway and we laugh it off as I make space for him on the bed, my hands still trembling.


Maybe the devil did make himself into my guardian angel, but isn’t then when you can see both sides that you can choose?


I don’t really speak much, Miles running in my eyes and I know Jamie’s heard of it and he keeps silent at first, presuming that I’m still ill but only my skin recently is the sole thing which gives it away as I lift myself up. Where does wrong even end? I push myself back down as I feel him pull me closer and I close my eyes. I’m thankful for whatever anyone else is doing and I wonder how deep are we and closer to Christmas. I can’t speak and fear seems to be pounding and I wonder if it’s solely minutes left until Christmas. 

READ MORE JAMIE HINCE FANFICTION HERE

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