graspTHEsanity

She’s Suffering

I stand there doing my tie, my eyes looking naked without eyeliner, as I struggle for a brief second, staring at what happened to the black varnish upon my nails. I managed to damage it, revealing my pink nail underneath with a small layer of dirt I quickly get rid off as an act of disgust.

Then I touch my eyes with the black pencil, standing straight holding my breath, trying to relax quoting Kafka in my head to calm myself down.

School just finished and begun welcoming high school into my folded arms, as I sigh remembering my class and accuses of rumors about my sexuality despite myself making out with a person of the opposite sex in front of everybody, a girl.

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Path

Why don’t you spit out the itch, onto the crowd which awaits some hurl from the stage, as the melody flows with a pair of dyed nails around the neck. And who’s above who? Is it just a pair of glances as the backstage is some lost fragment of an eaten orb from her hands, well, why won’t she feed me, just because I had declined. The reaction and the realization are the ones which hold the bottle, as we both drink from it to realize it’s the same top.

It’s harder to create when you’re complete.

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Moonage Daydream

Maybe it’s just one of those days when you wake up and while cooking eggs you just stand near the stove the day being the first day of death.

It’s more about thinking if you’re dead or not, what if you repeat all your actions in your head when you’re laying unconscious, smiling at all those people walking around in circles around your body humming songs in their heads which were once in yours.

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Paper Guns

“Oh my God, I hate Zooey Deschanel!” Jansen exclaims holding her face in her hands, her hair unneatly kept in her bun as I see the other guy from the movie jump around because he got some pussy yesterday and I just end up laughing with her or maybe even with him, but he’s not noticing that I’m laughing at him, instead Jansen looks like she’s seen hell as I pour milk into the bowl, slowly spilling as I see Jansen start making noises so that Zooey would go away.

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working mica

Take a cherry, squeeze it out and I will promise you,

You will get drunk

With the scene and all the girls in a row

And my blonde wig which sometimes goes in a curl up to my knees and I will be given kisses you will never dream of, brief from all women running in a circle, all the men stretching out their hands as glitter falls and lands on your lips just to be eaten by the next person and then you take a peach

to ripe your dream and eat a feast.

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Fiji4

I kept taking the hoodie out, seeing a hole in a sleeve, knowing that nearly all of Jamie’s wardrobe was the same and I’d inhale his smell, wondering how his parents looked like and what would he say. I walked and talked to my parents as well, Matthew being more silent, his hair still looking bad as he was desperately trying to grow it after turning an age where mom could no longer cut it as he would wail too much.

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Silencio

He looks like a whore.

He looks like a fucking whore and it’s funny, all of a sudden his tights seem

actually funny.

I look at the purple leopard tights and they do seem funny.

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Fiji5

Jamie nods, standing up and I check him out from behind, my legs and my whole body numb, I know I’m not a virgin anymore and sex becomes a deal and masturbation feels weak all of a sudden, I don’t think I’ll be sneaking in magazines into the shower and then throwing out soggy pages of actors.

Jamie comes back with newly, barely touched pencils besides one red one and with an eye make up sharpener.

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