I don't want to be known for my writing or clothes.
I want to be known for my anger.
Writing just seems to be the form where examples are the simplest and situations the realest.
My frustration is the fuel which my characters face and just limiting the value of my writing to good prose is Kubrick cutting the end of A Clockwork Orange to make a shallow movie about violence.
My work is my anger and everyone's anger at ignorance at those who will limit anyone to the background.
The further work is not about love, love is the aid to get us through society which we've created, born into and have to struggle with every day.
And love is the fuel, the fuel to the anger which I have to bear for being queer and deviant.
And I am not a love story. I am not something to cry over. I am something which should make you realize if you are at a privileged position that you should make a change, if you are discriminated, that you are not alone, that we should all have this fuel and should never just be limited to love.
Because our anger is valid.
We became our anger, so that the love will not only nourish us now, but later when all is done and we are no longer deviant to a society who hates itself.
Jamie. Gay. Genderfluid. Polyamorous.
Cursor made by: jamiecooksays.tumblr.com
Reblogged from question-meme :
Asked by Anonymous:
Oh, wow, of course you want to know XD
well, until me and Callie came out we honestly thought “penetration is the only way to have sex” so now we realized
that we actually had our first time in a fucking public bathroom 8) hooray!
Callie was over and we wouldn’t go to mine’s until in a few hours, so we snuck into a fucking bathroom XD and went oral on each other. It was clumsy, we both ended up wanking because no idea how the fuck do you do it xD and it was funny and what the fuck xD all I remember is how I wanted to fuck Callie’s brains out until we crawled into that bathroom
and then we went back to mine’s and I sucked her off and then my mom took a photo and I swallowed for the first and few times of my life and I have this dying face on it and Callie is glowing XD what the fuck XD there is an actual photo of me post swallowing semen and Callie’s yaaaas I got blow job face xD
ok, that was our first time, we’re so cool XD
anything else, please?:3
Asked by Anonymous:
10. Holy fuck xD lemme think.
Thankfully I tend to forget whenever I have rows with people, it’s how my brain works, I’ll be pissed one day and the next I won’t be pissed and I’ll forget I’ll even ask wait what was I even pissed at, I’m thankful that it happens so that’s the thing.
Ok, I just sat down with Callie and I’m like, ok, help me out, I can’t recall shit, I need bad fights xD
We started laughing and then like “dude, that’s no laughing matter xD”
Ok, lemme think.
I had a bunch of really ugly fights with people.
Ok, I had a long think.
Well, me and Callie when we argue it can get pretty ugly, once we broke up for a few hours xD that was rough.
But I guess, in general I can’t really pinpoint any specific fight but for instance I don’t get along with my sister up to the point that the fights would get so big that parents would have to interfere and forbid her from talking to me, take me away from her’s if I was staying over due to me not wanting to open up to her due to her demanding to know things about me like flipping my bag over and raid for contents, try to hack into things and etc.
So yeah, it’s hard to speak of this, so you could say all is a big fight.
It’s a bit awkward speaking about this on my blog even if I have, so yeah.
But thank you:)
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victoriacamach2 challenged me to put my music on itunes, and put out 10 random songs. So here we go xD
1. The White Stripes - I Want To Be The Boy To Warm Your Mother’s Heart
2. Lana del Rey - Born To Die (angsty so far xD)
3. The White Stripes - Hypnotize
4. Arctic Monkeys - When The Sun Goes Down (I have been listening to the first album a lot these days xD)
5. Arctic Monkeys - D is for Dangerous (wow xD)
6. Radiohead - Pyramid Song
7. The White Stripes - The Orchid Song
8. Radiohead - The National Anthem
9. Arctic Monkeys - Dancing Shoes
10. The Kills - Jewel Thief (at least it showed up here xD)
thank youuuu :3
Asked by Anonymous:
Mango ice cream, cookies and cream froyo, oolong tea.
Mango ice cream: I dunno me and Callie? xD she’s thelastwaltzing
Cookies and cream froyo: be cute, be funny, be gay? xD
oolong tea: holy fuck. Ugh. Wow, I haven’t talked about this in a while. It was a guy from my primary and we were kind of bffs. We both had a crush on each other and it was funny looking back, because I knew I if you must loved him but I liked other guys and I would be all, yeah, that guy is cute, but I love this guy. Sorry, interesting poly story xD Then I moved elsewhere and he sent me a letter (can’t recall where he got my address from) and I added him on Skype. He was also my first boyfriend and I wasn’t sure but we kept talking about crushes that day and talking and then I just slipped like yeah, I love you and we started dating LDR. I was fucking 12 by the way xD this was ages ago. He had some fucked up issues with his dad or whatever, thing is he lied to me about many things so even looking back I’m not entirely sure what was true and what wasn’t, like he once claimed that 7 people committed suicide in the span of a week or he took a photo of his hand in ketchup and said he cut himself? And he’d blame me for no reason and he’d do suicide scares to me all the time that I remember I’d grab some valeriana to even make it through. He’d make me miserable at all times. He would vanish for days without telling, refuse to talk to me. And then when we met in Summer we something had a total of 4 dates when I was there for a month? He’d do excuses to ignore me and not see me. Then things went downhill when I got back for the school year, he’d keep avoiding me when he’d go on holiday he’d make a point of not communicating with me. It was really hard. Then one day I heard he was dating another girl.
My parents were divorcing/separating. And he stated that he started dating her to make her feel better because the divorce was rough on her. Hello, what about me? And that he didn’t want his friends to see him as a womanizer (I was also not invited to his birthday party in the summer) so he dumped me and dated with that girl. Out of all my life I can’t recall anything about that winter at all. He had broken up with me and that was all what was on mind. Everyone didn’t know what to do with me at all.
I had this friend back in middle school, we fell apart eventually, but she dragged me out to hang out one day and she invited this bloke who was very known in school (even after he left I’d have teachers speak of him and people quickly eye me because everyone recalled that I dated the most popular guy in school) and I recall when I first kissed that said popular bloke my first thought in my head was that I was cheating with the first. The next day or so I told my first to fuck off. I never felt so empty in my life walking to school.
Then a mutual friend brought me and my first boyfriend back to talking and people shipped us heavily, everyone saw me as this ideal “girl” (heh, back when I thought I was cis) for him and everyone would say that we would end up together because we kept in touch and I could never find anyone who I could keep a conversation with (this is after I broke up with my second) and it was awful, I get into Radiohead and then he says he liked Radiohead, we’d discuss Kafka, it was awful, I felt trapped.
He got angry at me that I told someone about us when we were dating and the rumor spread around his school.
And anyway, then we began this awkward nearly on yet off for many many years until I met Callie. He even brought me to his house and we nearly kissed again but I looked away at the right time and his dad was over and I had to hide because he didn’t want his dad to know that he had girls over again.
I’d go with him when I didn’t live in the city and I was very anxious about public transport and he left me once in one and I was terrified when I went to the other corner of the city for him to find paper to draw a portrait of this girl who caught his attraction by feeding everyone Sprite tucked behind her bra. I know.
Anyway, it kept going on for years, last time I saw him I had my hair dyed with highlights before I went to the summer school with Callie and he kept staring at me saying that I got my hair dyed. Then I was with another friend who shipped me heavily and we stalked to see his new girlfriend. I think I knew her? Anyway. Also I found out that while we were dating he cheated on me numerously.
Then a few days before me and Callie started dating he started a chat with me on Skype, really late at night saying how he’s sorry over what happened back when we were 13, so five years ago or so. That he claimed it was all him and he wanted me to know, that he doesn’t love his current girlfriend but he calls her in the middle of the night to sing “hello, I love you” and I just recall talking to Callie via Skype over this and shaking and she was there for me. And that’s when we both, me and Callie realized that we love each other, but it seemed the wrong moment to start dating when I just blocked my ex asking why the fuck is he stating all of this?
But yeah, it was painful it trailed for years and years and I cut off a lot of people from my life, even best friends because they wanted me to resume contact with him and I refused.
So yeah, wow, I haven’t spoken of him in a really long while. That was oddly refreshing.
And yeah, that was it, really.
Also when I was confused about my gender and sexuality, I was never really attracted to him sexually, like I’d get bored from kissing and he’s always my main evidence regarding my lesbian side xD so yeah, being straight and female was disastrous XD
Thanks, anon :3
any more questions?? I seem to be chatty today xD
Asked by sundaysfrozenpitch:
I ship you with Jamie Hince, that's not even questionable 🌝✨
bahahahahaa Callie said you’d show up :P
heh thank youuuuuu
Reblogged from question-meme :
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